015 | How Energy & Connections Change Everything w/ Mali Hayes

Yes. Hello, good people and welcome back to Life is Sound. Today I've got a guest on who's one of the first people I've asked to come and do this podcast. When I started, I had a list of people, people that I've shared energy and genuine connections with, but when I've been around, you just feel good around them. Like, and we've had this conversation since and I feel like we have a very calm energy when we're together. So that's why I've invited today's guest on the show so you guys can feel that as well. If you can do me a favour.

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this podcast in any way. At the end of it, share it with whoever you feel like it will resonate with. But drop us a review and let us know what you think because it really helps us push the podcast and keep moving with this thing. Today's guest is Marley Hayes, a musician from Manchester. I think she's one of the greatest voices in the city. And I was listening to her music on the way before we started filming. I just like to connect to a musician's energy on the way. So I can like jump

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to your mindset and world a little bit of where you might have been. So Marley, if you wanna say hello to our listeners today, who you are in your world, what you do, and then we'll jump into it. Lovely, well, thank you for having me. First of all, I'm very happy to be here. Like you said, we spoke about it so long ago, but I knew the time would come and we finally got to meet. So I'm happy to be here. But yeah, hey, my name's Marley and I'm a singer-song creator, born and bred in Manchester. Some people like to say

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It's Stockport, it's not Manchester, and I'm like, babes, it's seven minutes on the train. I, it's still Manchester, it's great Manchester, okay? Yeah, I've been doing music my whole entire life. A lot of family members, both mum and dad side, are very musical, which maybe we'll get a little bit into. So I feel like music literally is in the soul, in the blood, it's just ingrained. And yeah, I guess you could say,

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professional musician, that's what I do full time, gigging, writing, doing sessions and yeah, that's where I'm at right now. Amazing, I think last time we saw each other in person, you were still, you still had like a day job and you were like, I'm thinking about, and I was like 100%, I was like, you need to make that jump. Once you do, I think you'll see so many things unfold in your life and obviously you're doing a lot of gigs as a musician as well. And that transition

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is quite a difficult thing to let go of. Stableness and steadiness, financial things. I think being a musician comes with financial worries. Oh, 1,000%. The two are just there. So it's been great to watch your journey and speak along the way, keeping in contact and just know you're on that path. So it's been really amazing to see that. I wanna jump into a bit about your childhood because when we first met in person,

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you told me like your mum was a sound engineer and she comes from that background and for me straight away like I see you, I know who you are, I know your music, I know your image, I know what you speak like, sound like, when someone says oh my mum's a sound engineer it's like extra like kudos points just go like oh like you're a real musician type thing. Yeah, fair. From my perspective as someone who mixes and makes music, so I just thought that must be so interesting.

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to grow up with a parent who really has learned the craft as well. And it's not only just your mum and your family like you said that musicians. So speak a bit about like when you started to notice that your mum was a musician and a sound engineer. Like what age was that? I mean you know she had been doing it since before I was born and it's funny like she didn't actually even mean to get into music. She was doing fashion at one of the unis in Manchester

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And she was approached by this band and they were like, can you make us some outfits for some gigs that we've got coming up? And she was like, yeah, I could go. And then she went to the gig with them and they were like, our sound engineer is Paulie. Can you just stand at the desk and just mind? What? Yeah. They were like, just do this one for this and this one for this. I think they literally gave her like two buttons to press. And then since then she just stayed doing their sound. So that was the cheaters. I don't think they're still

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thing anymore. So that's how she got into sound. I think she was with them for a while. And then I think not long after, I'm not sure of the timeline, I should probably know. Sorry. She then went on to do Simply Red. So that was all before I was born as well. And she actually missed my first birthday because she was on tour with Simply Red. She said she feels really bad about it. And I was like, mom, I really don't remember it. So it's fine. But she, so when I was

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There was a lot of musicians, singers, other producers or songwriters just like in and out of the house because we had a studio in the basement of our house. So every day when I would come home from school, like this is probably when I was a little bit older. So say like, I don't know what age I started walking home from school by myself, but my schools were quite close by. So I would say, I don't know, like nine, 10 or something. And I would come home.

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I'd always be like listening out if there was loud music playing because I was like, oh, maybe they're recording. So I might have to go in the house a bit quieter than usual because they would sometimes like sell up in the front room and have it all cabled up to downstairs. That's incredible. So I couldn't even go in my front room sometimes. Like I have to go straight up to my rooms because they'd be like, have you got pictures of that? Like, have you got any images of it? Somewhere. There's probably pictures. You've got to dig those out. Yeah, I'll see what I can find because sometimes I'd go in and there's like

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instruments just like everywhere in the room and like we've we've still got a grand piano so the top would be up sometimes and mics in there and all this lot and yeah so I feel like it was probably around that age-ish where I was like yeah it's pretty cool that I have this to literally like come home to like this is the environment that I'm surrounded by but it was just normal for me in the same breath so I also wasn't like this is so cool like as if

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if my mum gets to do this. Mum's recording again. Yeah, it literally was. It literally was that. And you know, like I'd just always be waking up on like Saturday, Sunday mornings and she'd be mixing downstairs. So again, there'd be like loud music coming from downstairs. That was just the norm for me. So it didn't feel any different. If anything, it felt weird if there like wasn't people in the house. So I'd be like to mum like, so who's coming round today? Or who's coming around like next week, what you recording?

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blah blah blah. Yeah, it's been pretty interesting growing up in that environment because like I said, music was always in my surroundings regardless whether I was at home, whether I was out with my mum at gigs, sometimes I'd go and just be with her while she was doing sound or something like that. So yeah, I was just always surrounded by it. Amazing. One thing I wanted to ask is, I think as you get older, you go from being young

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parents music. You get a bit older and then you're like, Oh my God, these are like, gems and like sometimes it's the only music you listen to with nostalgia. Did you ever have that because your mum was just doing music or is it something like seeped into your soul a lot earlier than like probably that rebellious side where you like parents music is what? And then obviously you realize it's all gold and it's what they were listening to as amazing. Did you have that

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create now? Yeah, I would say from day dot, like I've always just been into whatever music my mum played. She played a lot of African influenced music actually, so a lot of like fellow cootie and stuff like that, which like no one else in my area, like I grew up in a predominantly white area. So no one else was an interfellow cootie, do you know what I'm saying? But I knew that I loved it and my mum played it a lot even at like night time. So for me, it kind of became like a comfort.

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amazing as well. And one of my favorite albums still to this day is the Who Is Jill Scott album and she played that when I was growing up. It was that music Soul Child. He also knows Craig David even which was I guess a little bit more on the modern side at that time. But my mum just listened to so many different things. The only things I didn't really delve into was more popular

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music, so like literally pop music. So then when I went to school, I was kind of like, what is this? So if anything, I'm more rebelled against that than I did like all the DiAngelo and the Erika Bidu, like that was where- Yeah, so like super cool kid at school, I just, like proper deep music things. Literally, literally, but I never, like I probably would have been embarrassed though if people were like, what do you listen to? Like I would have been like, oh, Christina Aguilera and I mean, you know what I mean? Like Spice Girls back in the day, I used to

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of Spice Girls. And Beyonce, don't get me wrong, like Beyonce is my queen. Like I always have loved her. But I've always had like the different sides. Like when I was at school and when I was with my friends, it was all like the popular music. And then as soon as I'm home, I literally have on like DeAngelo and all that kind of stuff. But then as a group, I started to like get into more of that side of stuff. And I've still got all like my first Ellie Golding CD and Lady Gaga. So

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I kind of delved into it all, but where my heart lies now, and even last night I played a gig and we, I was just like, you know what? I'm just gonna throw in some rogue songs because it was a new gig at New Century Hall. I don't know if you've been there yet. No, I've not heard of it. It's cool. It's really nice vibes in there. And they were like, yeah, we can kind of go in with some R&B and soul. And I was like, right, I'm gonna put some Jill Scott in there. So he sang A Long Walk by Jill Scott. And I was like, this is such a full circle moment

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I used to just sing this when I was literally like six years old in the house. And now I'm just here singing it on stage and it's just so weird. Those are the moments that you realise you're doing it. Yeah. I think we spoke a bit before this recording, this podcast about imposter syndrome. And how like, like I said, I've been doing music for a long time. Yeah. And even now when I hit certain things, I'm like, should I be doing this? It's like, you've been doing this for the longest time. Right.

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And you have those moments when you're on stage singing that song that you used to sing when you were six. And you can either like go, this is beautiful, but part of you can also like question like, oh, I'm a real musician. Like if you're on stage singing, you're a real singer and you're a real musician, especially if you're going out and getting paid to do so. These battles I think are so difficult as creatives. Part of me believes that we need it because it like pushes us further. If you can see that voice as a challenger rather than a someone who's trying to knock you back.

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I think we can do that a lot. If this is what I've tried to reframe in my own mind of when those negative voices come up, it's like, oh, so you think I can't do this? Let's go. Let's see what boundaries we can push then. And it's kind of like that, that relationship that you might have with a friend or parent, probably not your mum, because she's a musician, she probably challenges you with everything. But like those voices where it just feels a bit against the

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syndrome voice a bit like that, but I definitely still feel it. So part of me believes we need it. Yeah. But then part of me thinks, what is that? And it just not just happens for me, you know, you can relate to it. I think a lot of creative people or anyone stepping into roles that is either new to them or they just don't feel like they deserve. And I feel like when we can shift those things, those negative voices, that's when we see the magic happening. Like you probably felt that a lot when you were transitioning out of

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You know a day job to what you're doing now. Yeah, thousand percent. Yeah, it was very hard to like almost accept that I was worthy of being able to just do music and just pursue that because it's always you know like Are you gonna have a real job or like what is a real job like if you get paid for it? It's a job. It's a job. Yeah. Yeah, I'm saying and even like I still hear it from I personally like

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a lot of YouTube and follow like a fair few influences, I guess on Instagram and socials and stuff. And even they still get branded with a real job, like, are you going to have a real job? And I'm like, they are earning so much more than the average person. So what do you, what does, what does that actually mean? Like, I'd love for people to define what they think a real job is like, probably like working in a supermarket or an office job, no shade, because it that's a job.

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we need people to do those jobs and that's fine if you want to do that. I personally don't want to do that. And that's fine as well. But yeah, it's wild, isn't it? And like you said, like imposter syndrome can happen for anyone that is going in or coming out of any of those job roles as well. And yeah, I like, even from about to doggie right now, but even my mum, I think was quite like nervous about me not being in my day job anymore. And I'm sure maybe that's a parent thing that I

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But I kind of just ended up having this, it took me a while to get there because I like, when we first met, that was quite a while ago now, wasn't it? Yeah, at times like, yeah. Doing that project. So even then I was still like, hmm, hmm, I'm not sure. And it took me so long. And initially when I said I wanted to leave my job was like just before the pandemic hit. So I was like, well, kind of glad that I didn't do it then because I really would have been, hmm, I'm not having a good time. But.

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but I stuck it out for a bit longer. And I think that also gave me like the head space to be able to be like, this really is not for me. And I think I just hit a point where I was like, it sounds so cliche, but life really is short. And, you know, I'm getting older and if I really want to pursue these things that I want to pursue, like having the day job was really taking time away from me that I knew I could be putting

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to something that was a lot more fulfilling, whether that be financially or like internally. So I was just like, I really just need to make this decision because it is gonna determine, it kind of comes to like well-being as well, you know, like mental well-being. Cause I was like, it's not making me happy. Being here for one and dealing with the people that it comes with as well, like it just wasn't making me happy. So yeah, it was a big decision

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And I was definitely like, oh my God, am I doing the right thing? But here we are, like, you know, just over six months later and things are okay. Yeah, you're doing it. Yeah, I remember you saying, you're like, oh, it's so nice to see like how you're getting on after leaving it. And I was like, do you know, I hadn't even looked back until you left me that comment, which was only like, what, a month ago? Yeah. Or something like that. And I was like, I haven't even taken a moment to just be like, you're actually here and you're actually doing okay.

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Yeah, so like well done part of the map. I feel like I feel like when I'm when I meet people I can recognize energy really quickly and then when someone tells me something a spot Maybe a thing that I know they need to do or and because maybe I've done it in the past I really just try and speak those words into people maybe that just in that transition phase I got that from a point of what would I want to hear? Because it's scary these things whatever leap you're taking in life Whether you leave on a job to be a professional musician Yeah going into a new job

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business, whatever it is, these are really scary moments. And a lot of the time people will talk you out with it. So years ago when, when I was making music with my friends and we were in a band and it was a transition, like there was loads of label interest. And we were like, saying to our manager at the time, like, can we quit our jobs? He's like, not yet. It's not like we're not fully there. I'm like, come on, man, let's want to quit my job. And we're young, like we're 21, like we're so eager. And he's like, no, like don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember like, we, we got,

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to the point we were like due to sign a record deal like in a couple of days and he was like right now you can do it right and I remember first I went to you I was went to my unit and I went I'm quitting he was like why was I because I'm going to do music full time and he went just finish this year and I went no I'm going to do music full time yeah if I were to let that voice in I could have affected everyone rippled out to everyone else and created doubt and then I worked at the airport at the time

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Okay. And I went in and I just went, there's no, it's like, why are you leaving? I was like, I'm going to do music properly. What do you mean? I could only imagine. This is young me. This is 21 year old, hothead Jay. This is not like farm 36 year old me. This is me with a way more attitude. And they were like, how are you gonna do that? How are you gonna make money? I was like, I got a record deal. And it was such a good feeling because you know you're going into something that is so the unknown.

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for musicians when you're in your purpose. And that's what it comes back to. It's about you stepping into your full purpose. Absolutely. You've not gone through all that at the start of your life to doubt whether you should be a musician. Like that's the universe showing you where all your early learning is gonna be. Like this is your path. If you wanna do something different in life, by all means you can do. But the path is already set for us. Yeah. So I always, like I just felt that in you. I was like, I felt you need to be doing that. Yeah.

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it's clear. And when I see people making those transitions, and it kind of when you see that encourages you as well for the next thing in your life, we're always going to come up against those things, aren't we? Absolutely. Yeah. And yeah, it's just beautiful to see people like in their own bag and doing it. Yeah. And one thing I know now is now you're out active, singing all the time you're doing gigs. When the next phase of your recording comes around, now you've

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You're even more ready. So now I'm excited for you in that phase as well, to see you go into that way, you've really been working things on that side. That's true. I didn't even think of it in that way, but that's very true. Yeah, I just had that thought before. I thought that this will come up in the conversation. And I think it's because listening to music on the way here, and I've said I really want to work with you at some point. I've got a studio which is getting built at the moment, getting ready.

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timings everything that will happen when it happens. Exactly, yeah. But listening to music today and letting it seep in, I was like, I actually can't wait to work with you because I think what you're doing, what I do will be an interesting merge of worlds. I think so. And me pushing you and you pushing me and even like when we're together it's just a nice, chilled, merging energy with these, there doesn't seem like there's no resistance. I'm sure we'll get it great if we do that. Yeah. At some point. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just a nice, chilled.

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energy and listening to music on the way here I was like excited. I was gonna say that for the end of this conversation but it's come up now. But delving a bit deeper into like Marley Hayes, the human if we take away the musician identity. Like what is something that's happened to you in life that like really just crumbled all the walls around you where you started questioning everything outside of music because life happens to us outside of our careers and being a musician.

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And I personally find music is a relationship and it's a really difficult one at times. It really weighs heavy on you as a human. It's beautiful, but it's like that toxic relationship sometimes where you just want to leave it and go, but it's really got hold of you and you know you can't leave because you love it so much. But outside of the music, what is something that's happened in your life personally where nothing made sense and what were the things that you did to like push through those things?

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And you know what's interesting as well is when you say like kind of taking the musician part away from it because you do don't you kind of you almost fixate on that and it does become like a massive part of your identity because I'm when you was saying I was like oh my god no what what is even yeah what is something that isn't music related that has because for me like I'll try and keep it short but music stuff does affect me quite a lot you know I mean like that is a massive part of

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of why I can have imposter syndrome and you know doubt myself quite a lot and feel like you want to quit and then two minutes later you feel inspired again and it's fine you know I mean so that's a massive part of part of me my mental um but something that's not that I would say probably just um like personal relationships there was also um there was a point where I was just going

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stuff. And I was like, okay, I recognise that I'm the only person that can really get myself over the hurdle to the next level. What are the things? What are the tools that I can use to try and just build myself back up? But not just it needs to be stable, you know, like it can't just be, I'm just gonna tell myself nice, nice affirmations and just

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you know, try and believe them. It's like, I actually need to have proper building blocks that are actually going to be solid and keep me there. Do you know what? I feel like it's hard to pinpoint exactly what it was that I did to essentially just feel very sure of myself. But I just know that it was around when I was probably like 22, 23. And I was just like, do you know what? I actually feel quite strong in myself. And I feel like I can

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I can overcome certain things and it was a relationship that I had had and then there was also a lot of family stuff going on as well which I think is just like family stuff I find so interesting because when I was a bit younger and you'd hear people say like you know your family is so important and you must always keep them so close which I'm definitely like for I'm not saying that that's not the case but just because they are family does not mean you

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and that has been very much apparent in both my mum and dad's side. And it's really wild to see sometimes, and I think I haven't always allowed myself to look at it and maybe feel the emotions of it, because I don't know, maybe sometimes I think I'm quite guilty at suppressing some things, but I'm also, and I don't know if this is just a coping mechanism,

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recognise when someone is like reflecting. And I'm like, you know what? That's actually, that's actually not everything to do with me. That's actually your stuff. And that for me makes it so easy to be able to just keep it at arm's length and kind of like walk away. And again, I don't really know what allowed me to get to that place, but I'm quite grateful because even, you know, today, it allows me to

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various different relationships or part of relationships that I'm still in with people, whether that be like platonic or romantic, whatever. I'm able to be like, that's actually your stuff. And I'm not willing to take that on my heart right now. So I'm kind of just going to put up this little energy bubble around me to make sure that that is not going to affect me. And yeah, I've literally said it for like the third time. Don't know how I got there. But. I.

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I feel like I've managed to build up some solid building blocks in my soul that just allows me to, with certain situations, be able to be like, that's not me, that's actually a you problem. I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing. I think it's a superpower in a way. If you're aware of your own internal processes and someone's coming at you or something's happening in a situation, and you can sit back and go, oh, that's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me. Yeah. That's not actually about me.

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for them then you're setting boundaries of what you allow to come in. Yeah. And not everyone can do that so the fact you did that you know at such an early age and you're stuck with that. That's a really good thing to have in your toolkit. Yeah I think so. It definitely helps me to overcome things a lot more quickly as well like because I see some of my really good friends or just like people close to me and it really you know the bad stuff the negative things that

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them for a very long time and they can like stir on it and question the things and be like, did I do this or that thing that they did? It's like so, it's so annoying. And I just, I'm like, that's just wasted time. And I still do it sometimes, don't get me wrong, like I'm, I'm still human, but I'm just, I see that, you know, this is not going to benefit me. And I'm probably going to feel better about it tomorrow. So let's just try and work on it now in this moment, so that we don't have to

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And then don't get me wrong, that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I'm like, I'm going to sit in this crap and just feel it out. Yeah, which is also a great thing to do. Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, that's something that I've probably learned more recently, because I would definitely suppress and try and push it down, not speak about it, not journal it out, or not cry about it. And then it would all just feel like it's just bubbling up. I've definitely had those moments. I've done that 100%.

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painful when it gets to that point and you let it all just come to the surface. Like, I wouldn't say that I do suffer with depression or anxiety, which I'm very grateful for because clearly that is something that a lot of people on this planet suffer with, which is so mind blowing to me. And it's very, very sad. And I'm, I am 1000% a person who feels collectively. So if like the world is sad, I feel sad.

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You know, like when big things happen in the world, like 2020 was a lot. And that would just wade so heavy on my heart for like various different reasons. And yeah, it's kind of weird how that can affect me more than maybe something that directly happens with maybe me and someone else or a group of people, whatever. That can hit me way harder because I think it's because I tap into

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of everything that's going on and again it just makes me want to be like I just literally want to put on this energy bubble so I don't have to feel all the energies that are going on that are going to probably negatively affect me. I know we said it the other day like having to have a bit of a energy recharge when you've maybe like been around a lot of people for a few days and I've had that multiple times this week and I honestly cannot wait until Monday where I can just not see anyone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

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That sounds really awful. I love everyone in my life, but I'm just like my partner's going to be out teaching. I'm going to have me and my cats to myself and I'm just literally going to just reset for the day because it's been a lot of energy that I've been surrounded by for the past few days and it takes a toll man. It does. I feel like that's probably in a way what we've clicked with and sensed like when we spoke about it the other day when we were planning to

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environment, I'm quickly calculating how this environment is going to deplete me or add to me. It's a really simple calculation. And if it's depleting me, I'm looking at the clock like, yo, I don't, I can't be here for much longer because this is not feeding my soul. Small talk and interactions really now take a lot away from me. I usually find that whenever I go to something, an event or a night out or, you know, someone's house, if there's not that one person there that you end up clicking with and just vibing with,

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watch in especially if everyone's on it you know everyone's getting waved and doing the thing yeah I'm like yeah I can't I can't be in this this energy and what I personally noticed I think what I would perceive as probably other people's judgments is they can easily start to think you're a boring person because you don't want to be around what the norm is and what people are doing as I've got older and more comfortable in myself it's just an energy thing it's just my time time like you said is the only thing that

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got and I see it as wasted time. If I'm not feeling great somewhere, why am I gonna stay here? Why am I gonna allow myself to be there? And the difficulty that that can sometimes be difficult, you're going to work now in a very social atmosphere. So when it's like, you know, I've got work at like 8 p.m. 9 p.m. whatever time you're doing shows, it's clicking into that mode and I'll quickly share this when when I used to come off stage with with the band that I was in, obviously being on stage, there's no drug like it.

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It's incredible. Yeah. And when you have that response from a crowd, like, wow, it gives you shivers. And I remember I was too young to understand energy or maybe who I was at that point. And I'd come off stage and the guys would go straight out to fans and me and greet and say hello. And I'd be like in a dressing room to start there going.

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Like process, just process coming down from a high, a natural high. And people started to see that as arrogance. Oh, he loves himself. He doesn't come out like the rest of the guys. Interesting. And I realized, no, it's just I, I can't interact with people that quickly. After feeling this emotion here, I need to sit with that and let it, let me come back down to earth and then into, then I can share my energy with people. That was probably the first

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for me as a human of my own awareness of my own energies and going there and needing to come back down. Yeah. But not being sure in myself about it. So I think it is a really similar thing we share in that in that area of being around the right people and if we're not just having that awareness of when we need that recovery time to plug in and charge whatever that is, being at home with

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For me, it's usually just sitting at home, putting something on YouTube. Even something as simple as like, we put in YouTube on, I don't really watch TV, I sit on my couch and I'm doing no work tonight. Like I'm just chilling. And like, say your channel pops up and I go, oh, sit, Marley's got a thing, I've got free time, I'm just gonna sit and watch this. And it's those little things where you're like, you're doing nothing and you're really happy doing it. Like you're just really happy doing nothing. Cause I think in this day and age, we're all guilleted to need to be busy. Oh God.

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You must be busy, Mali. If you're not busy, you're not being successful. And it's knowing those times when we need to take a step back and relax. 1,000%. Like that whole hustle culture, that does not resonate with me in the slightest. Like, yeah. And I've seen some of my relationships deteriorate because they were like that. And I'm so not like that. And then sometimes it makes me question, like,

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easily. Because why do I not want to be working all the time? Because even like, this is where, like, there's part of me that really enjoys social media. Like, I can see the nice side of it. And now I feel like it's almost trendy to be like, oh, social media is so bad, which it definitely is probably more negative than it is positive. But I very much am so picky about the people that I follow and the things that I try to see on social media. Obviously, it's not always that.

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easy now with algorithms and stuff like that. But I try to be very specific about what I am seeing and yeah it's just, I think it's important because I would come back from my day job and there ain't no way that I'm working on my music even though it's 7pm and I've still got hours until I'm going to bed even though I am a grandma and I like to go to bed early. But I'm just like, I've been, I've given my energy

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the job this whole day and I've been having to, you know, speak to customers and be a certain way. And that's already given my energy because I'm, you know, I'd like to think I'm quite a nice person. So I've been being my normal self, but you do have to do small talk when it's like customer service stuff. So that would, that would be the way that I would be all day. And it's like, I don't have, I literally don't have the physical energy to be able to give to my craft right now.

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A lot of people in social media will be like, yeah, I wake up at 5am and do my social media job and then do my actual job and then I do more. And I'm like, babes, it's not me, you know, I wish it was to a certain extent because I'm like, yo, maybe I could be rich now or maybe I could have like millions of streams by now. And it's like, those are definitely things that I want, but I'm actually not willing to risk my well-being for that. Personally, that's just me. And it's such.

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contrast in my head because I'm like, yeah, but you want these things. So, you know, and I'm starting to find the balance more where it's like, okay, babes, come on, you could do a little something right now. Do you know what I mean? Like you've got an hour. Let's look on YouTube for a beat that you like, or, you know, I forget what the, the loop thing is now that I've been downloaded loops from and trying to make a tune out of it, even if it just ends up being something that you don't even use. So I am trying to challenge myself a little bit more. Cause I think I did get into a state

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where I was allowing myself to always be like, no, I actually can't be bothered right now. And I'm like, that's not great. You've just triggered something and I'll share it because it's really impacted me over the past few days. So recently I've learned, I've come across something like performance mindset versus mastery mindset. Performance is, I need to achieve this. I need that many streams. I need to do this many gigs this year. I need to have an album done by the end of the year. And it's all coming from a place of ego because we, it's all based

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people might perceive us. Mastery is, I just need to write an album this year because I didn't write one last year. When was the last time I put a song out? When I create that next song, how do I make it different and better than the last one? I never tried to write lyrics like this, maybe I could do that. At this gig tonight I'm gonna try and use my voice in a different way. It's all about just bettering the previous thing and when you do that the overall outcome

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Performance and target driven. And I feel like we live in a world like you said, that's what spoke to me, the 5AM club, which is a huge thing and probably works for so many people. I know what I'm like when I wake up at 5AM. I've done it in the past when I'm like, I'm gonna wake up at five, I'll be at the gym at six, and I'm in the gym at six, and I'm like, what am I doing here? Gym's just not for me at that time. And I respect people that do it, but is a balance with creators, I think. You know, I know people that have got the huge streaming numbers and I don't think they woke up

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to get that. It's, it's, you know, having, having goals which are necessary, but it's just consistency rather than saying, I need to do this or I'm lazy or I need to do that or I'm lazy. And I fell into that trap so much. I think now at the age of Mark, I'm really proud of myself where I'm at. I wish I would have had a bit more hustle mindset that I've got now in my twenties, but also what I went through in my twenties kind of wasn't the norm. Right. Okay.

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really like wobbled me as a human. So it's also been like soft and gracious to that. Like, so you got to give yourself grace. Yeah, exactly. Because that just wasn't for you at that time, was it? And I feel like us as musicians, in particular creatives, can be really hard on ourselves, especially as you see your peers might be doing certain things and you're like, why am I not just doing that? But I think we all need to remember as long as you're trying to better what you've just previously been doing.

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That's enough. That is enough and Just creating I think creating and doing doing what you're here for which is just to get out of our own way I'm speaking to myself as I'm sharing a few lights like Reflecting it back up myself. Yeah, because it's a really difficult thing like how many songs of a release this year I released this many last year and these battles and As long as you're just showing up and being you and doing you in the world and and bringing that energy That is enough

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I've always felt from you as well. It's a question I wanna ask. And if it's not the right thing, then obviously you can say, no, but I've always got a sense you're like, quite a spiritual person. Like you are on a path, but I've never heard you categorize it as that. Like how does that journey of like self look to you? Like maybe you don't define it as like, I'm a spiritual person, maybe you do. But what are those things in your world that mean something about that path as Marley?

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I would probably say I'm a spiritual person. I was brought up surrounded by it again by just my mom. You know, we've always had like, I was saying to you when I came in like, even just having these here, like that makes me feel comfort because crystals, all that kind of stuff, which all sounds like the generic stuff, but you know, it is, it's impactful. And I've had it around me all my life. You know, even down to the things like,

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and like cleanse the house when I was younger. And I didn't even, I was definitely like, what are we doing here? Like when I was young and I didn't really get it. But again, like the music stuff, it's the norm to me. So I just also never questioned it. And I find myself doing things now that my mum's always done like, she'd just randomly be like humming. Or like, I can just hear her like taking loads of deep breaths and I'm like, oh my God, I literally do that now. And it's all seeping in. Yeah, it's probably just like ingrained in my brain. And I would definitely say like,

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One thing that I haven't ever really shared is like sometimes I feel like I'm most some people probably call it like praying but I wouldn't not class myself as a religious person. Yeah. I get no shade but that just doesn't resonate with me. And yeah, it's just I've always felt there's something but it's more like a connection to like source. I don't know whether it's male or female.

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whether it's male or female, there's just an energy that I just connect with. And I speak to it sometimes and it just feels nice. And I don't know why, but I've always done that since I was young. And yeah, for me, I guess like something as well that I tend to do is if something becomes really popular, so like say there's like a really popular song or there's a popular album or like when Breaking Bad came out, I didn't watch it because everyone was talking about it.

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I'm trying not to respond and let me flow, but I'm like, we are so similar. Even though things you were saying, I was like, oh my God, this is literally like, this is exactly what I'm like as well. So I'll just never really like jump on it straight away. So as I started getting older and I realized that everyone was like really marketing and like profiting off like yoga and meditation, I think it put me off a little bit because I was like, oh, like everyone and their

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is just doing this now and I resonate with things like this is woman that I found on TikTok and she was like yoga has become really westernised and it's not we're not focusing on like the actual reasons why yoga was originally created and why it's a thing and the original practices where it comes from who the tutors are blah blah blah and I was like I

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that a lot more. So I think for me it's just like finding the right practitioners I guess as well that I resonate with and my mum did go to a yoga class once I was growing up and I used to go with her like every Monday since I was probably like again like six years old until that teacher sadly

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used to walk around with her just like holding a hand and like she'd go like correct people's positions and I'd just be stood there like, hi. That's amazing. I know it was so nice but and I didn't really connect the two of like yoga being a spiritual practice as well but now as I'm older and if I do yoga in the morning even if it's just 10 minutes I've got this one favorite video that I'll have to share with you. Yeah, please do. Oh it's my favorite. I love it so much. And even that.

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helps me to genuinely like breathe better and feel a bit more grounded throughout the day. And it's so hard to have the discipline. One thing I, I think a lot of people struggle with discipline, but I definitely struggle. And when I do make myself do it, when I allow myself the time and stop telling myself, I don't have time. I'm like, girl, you have 10 minutes to just sit and just do some yoga. It's really not that long. In your 24 hours of this day,

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But yeah, I would say that I definitely am a spiritual person. And it's funny as well because I feel like I do talk about it, but I don't actually think I do. Now I'm thinking about it because I think it's sometimes it can still be a bit, you know, I don't know frowned upon the right word to say, but again, it's just like become a bit like popular and like all the stuff that I see on TikTok, I'm just like,

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Okay, cool. Not that I'm an expert. No, I get it. But, at all. But it's just, I hear a lot of things and it can just be a bit of a put-off. Sometimes, I think, genuinely. So I'm just, I feel like I just kind of have my own way of life and I just do what works for me as and when. Yeah. I think that comes across naturally. Like last time I'm saying I felt it from you, but I don't think you've ever labeled it as I'm this thing. And

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We definitely see a lot of that now because people know it gets the likes, it gets the views and people can build businesses off this whole thing. And I think, you know, it is just about being yourself and showing up as you in the world and however that looks. And I can tell you somebody that's on a path and, you know, checks in with yourself and that energy resonates out to people as well. And I think you spoke the other day, like you mentioned, like, at this age you're going through, like, what your class is, a very transitional period.

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Like you've probably seen life from a few different angles. Yeah. What's that currently feeling like for you? Interesting. Well, I guess it's like this is the age where everyone says like, it's, is it you sat in return as well, which I've not really delved into. Like I'm not super into, not that I'm not into it, but I've just not delved into like all the astrology and star sides. And because everyone these days is always like, oh, yeah, the sun is in this. And I'm like, don't really know. Yeah, I just know my star. Literally.

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I'm hands up. I don't know nothing. I looked at my moon sign the other day. I think it was like Gemini. I was like, is this even right? Am I doing this right? So yeah, I think we're at the same place. Okay. Have you done your birth chart like online or anything? Yeah, I've done that. I've done it in the past. I did it with a guy in India who like blew my mind away. It's like proper like, oh, wow. Numerologist is it? Okay. Yeah. Like proper guy, but I just didn't like record anything or write anything down. So just forgot it or fair. Fair enough. I'm open to it. I'm open to it. I'm open to learning.

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Same. Yeah, it's just not something again. I think because everyone just jumped on it. I was just like I'll just learn about it when I feel cold about it, you know, I'm saying I forgot what your question was now because we've got on a few times. Just that transition that you're at in life, changing and growing and you like feeling these these shifts within yourself. Yeah. So I feel yeah, it literally is that it's very transitional and I feel like I'm always realising certain things whether it's so

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You know, kind of like when you were speaking before about like the energies of people that you're around like when you were in the band as well. Like I'm noticing that people, whether it's in the industry or people in my friendship groups, I'm just like, I recognize the people that I'm probably going to keep at arm's distance and the people that I'm going to welcome in. And it's funny as well because I've been chatting a lot to my partner about this.

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he's been saying like he finds it a bit hard to kind of like let people in and make new connections with people even though he recognizes that they're probably on a similar like wavelength to him. He finds it hard to let them in whereas I'm like really opposite and if I feel that good energy I'm like you're coming with me. Do you know what I mean? And I think it's just I'm quite grateful, well I'm very grateful that I just I get to connect with people like

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because it's rare, I don't know we spoke about this on the phone the other day, it's so rare that I think there's those genuine connections, like it's not like we're best friends but I can just tell that anytime I probably wanted to speak to you about something that was just in our realm, I know you would be there and the same with me as well and I feel like that kind of connection is quite rare and I'm starting to recognize that some of the people that are in my life

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whether it's even like family members, I'm like, I'm not going to continue to give that same energy that I was giving because I'm trying to hold on to it because it's like the right thing to do because you're a friend or you're a family member. But just because, like, we're here in this space, it doesn't mean that we have to continue to give that energy if we're, because clearly both of us are not connecting in that way. So again, it's like, I don't want to waste time or

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energy and I don't mean that to sound as harsh as it does. It's just, I think we can exchange in a way that's good enough for both of us and then we can just leave it at that. I feel like I'm experiencing a lot of that at the minute and it is hard being in the industry that I mean I love how it always relates back to music but again like, you know, having to deal with intoxicated people a lot of the time. I find that a struggle because I'm not

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So I'm not against it. I do drink, but I'm just like, I can't even believe I've chosen this industry to be in sometimes because I have to be around it so often. And but I think it's made me a bit of a stronger person as well because assertiveness has definitely been an issue of mine. And I think that maybe stems from the relationship that I've had with my dad because I was my dad's left when I was quite young. So and I always used to struggle with kind of like vocalising.

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in and it's so funny as well because even my mum would say like I used to get chapped lips really bad when I was young and my mum always used to say to me I think it's because you're not speaking you're true so I've always kind of had that like mind body awareness as well even now like big up your mum so much has come from your mum even I'm learning from her life literally there's this great book I don't know if you've heard of it called your body speaks your mind have you ever

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So now any time anything physical happens to me, like I've had a problem with my shoulder for quite a while and it's just such an interesting book. Like you don't have to read it or you can just kind of like delve into like a specific section and it was all about like, you know, like carrying burdens and carrying the weight of other people's problems or your own as well that you're just not offloading. So it's just building up. It's honestly, it's a great book

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much. But yeah, so a certain has definitely been something that I've struggled with. But being in the industry that I am, and having to stand my ground in a lot of situations, whether it's with men or women, I'm, it's allowed me to be able to just be a bit more confident in that, like, section of life, I guess, because it's something that I've struggled with. And I think I still struggle a little bit because it makes me feel very uncomfortable to have to be like,

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like you're being rude or I don't like what you're saying or can you just, can you give me some space? Yeah. Like even just saying it like that just makes me feel, but it's very necessary. It's something I've learned recently, repeating and practicing, then it becomes the norm. So the discomfort now is where is that coming from? Your awareness to even know this is probably coming from my dad not being around. Yeah.

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awareness of this situation and give yourself props and praises for it because people get to like 60, 70 without ever even recognizing these things. So the fact you've got the awareness of where these things can come from. And then putting it into practice, the more you do it, the more you'll get comfortable with it. Yeah. And my friend Maureen has been on this podcast a lot and should be on again soon is I did something the other day when I said, Oh, I think they're thinking and she went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. You can't ever

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know what someone's thinking. Yeah. Stop wasting your time doing that. Fair point. And I thought, and I've not done it since. Yeah. As soon as I catch myself going into it, like, well, no, don't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just a practice thing. The more you show up and be that version of yourself, the more that version of yourself will get comfortable. And one question I wanted to ask off the back of that, how have you found it in a music industry, in a scene, as a female, how is that treated?

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Most of the time it's been pretty positive, but there's definitely moments where you can tell you're not taking this seriously. I've been doing some sessions over the last year and I'd like to think I'm quite good at what I do, which is hopefully why I get good at certain things. And again, I feel like I sound so shady today. That's not how I'm...

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I'm not saying it, but you know, I could tell that they were like, um, so do you want to come in and And just learn this bit and I was like, I already learned it's cool that I can just go straight in and do it Straightaway and they're like, oh, okay. Cool. Did it was fine. Great. And they were like, right. Do you want to come in and do these How many I was like, oh no, I can just do it straight away. Do you know what I mean? And it's like I don't maybe that's not because I'm a female Maybe it's because I'm a bit younger. I don't know um I also don't think they

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how old I actually was. I think they thought I was younger than what I was maybe and thought I hadn't really done a lot of this before. So I was just kind of like, oh no, I'm good. Like we can just go for it. So it's like navigating little things like that. Funnily enough, I've actually experienced it more, probably like out of the industry, like even recently, because we've been moving house. There's been like three men who have all been like, oh, do you wanna just like ask your partner? I was like, you can ask me, babes.

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You can absolutely ask me, I'm very capable. I pay these bills in this house, I'm very capable. I bet you your hand on me like that. Literally. And I was like, it kind of like took me back because I was like, mm, okay, I've not experienced this in a while, but it's so funny that it's all happened recently. But yeah, in the industry, I feel, I don't know, I've not personally experienced it very like head on. I'm sure it probably happens on the sidelines and maybe I don't always recognise it.

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it, but again, like assertiveness is quite important, I think in this industry, especially, and I don't really know where it was probably around a similar time that I kind of just started to feel like I was building those building blocks like in my soul that I was just like, okay, we can do this, whatever it is. And I did start to be a little bit more like I'd ask for things rather than like waiting for things to come to me. And I was like, this

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this because this doesn't even feel like me to ask for these sorts of things but I was just like you don't ask you don't get and the worst they're gonna say is no and we just move on to the next thing. That energy, whether you enter a room and you've thought about it five hours before, five days before, five months before whatever you enter a room with that energy that's what people are gonna receive. You could have a conversation before you open the door yourself when I go into this room I'm gonna be the most assertive person I need to be for

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When you went to that room, people would feel that and you've now told yourself what you're going to be. Yeah. You could do it five days before, five months before. Yeah. But if you go in with that unshawness. Yeah, they're going to feel that. Energetically, people, people are just going to see what boundaries that they can push because it's natural human instinct and behavior. Absolutely. So again, the awareness that you've got and the things that you're doing, I would say just do more of it because it's going to serve you for when things come up, I'm sure, will again. Yeah. And they challenge you in those spaces. Yeah. I wanted to ask as we wrap up.

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like what's next for you? Like what are you planning? Like what's coming up creatively? Where do you want to lean into as Marley the human as well? I like that. What's coming up? Continue to work on myself, continuing to work on myself. That's a journey that I'm very aware is there's, I find it hard to accept that there's not a

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ongoing flowing state. So much more of that and dedicated in true time for myself that feels like comfortable whether it is sitting and not really doing that much but being very happy in the moment of doing it, but actually actively working on the things that you know you should probably be working on as well.

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knowledge. I'm trying to get back into things that definitely feel a bit out of the comfort zone as well. So even though I trained in dancing for like many years in my life, it feels so terrifying to go back and do it again. And I don't know why because well, I guess it's just because it's been like 11 years since I was properly in that environment. But I'm trying to push myself a little bit more and be like, it's okay.

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you know, and if you fail, what does that even look like? But if you fail, then we just keep going and we keep trying and that's fine. So lots more of that musically, again, kind of like giving myself space and time, whether that is literal space to not do anything, but I feel like I'm hiding up with that time now. But to also push myself and dip into

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what really feels good and letting it come out creatively. And also still allowing myself to, something that I've been guilty of is listening back to my music and being like, this doesn't sound like how I want it to sound. As in, I listened to a lot of soul R&B, neo soul, heavy music. And I've noticed that my music, even recently in the music that I've released, which I haven't released any in a while,

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I released. I'm this music now, all very different. And I think that's sometimes hard for me to accept because I'm like, but I'm a neo-soul artist. I'm like, but you're not. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you have that influence, but you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want. Like literally whatever you want. So I think giving myself a bit more grace and just allowing myself to just create and just be very open and very free with that.

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that's the plan and to just be a bit more, have a bit more fire there as well, because I do actually really want to release some music. Like I'm ready for that excitement of releasing music again, because it has been a while, so I'm excited. I've been saying for a couple of years, I said it literally in 2020, but obviously then stuff slowed down. I was like, I'm so ready for the next phase now. So then I've kind of felt like, I've been like,

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ever since then and it's just not quite like God moving since then which has been frustrating so I'm just trying to light the fire again and keep it moving. I get that it's an onward battle it's a continuous battle like releasing music and what do I sound like I actually love this so why is this not sounding like this yeah and then you go oh I can make whatever I want who's telling me what I can make what boxes am I put no one's telling me what I can make so only me creating these boxes.

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And I think that's why I am so excited at some point to get in the studio with you and just see what our worlds do Because I think it will create Different boundaries and like we can push through and I've been working with female voices now for about two years Remotely like not had them in a studio with me But it's really made me appreciate working with female voice I'm even out to sing an idea and then someone come with a voice I don't have and then just bring it to life So to be able to do that in person

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excited for that. And I mentioned like another episode that I want to get you back on and I won't speak about it to listeners. I'll drop it on them when it's ready but there's an invite here for you to come back whenever you want to do this again. If you ever want a conversation, you're like, I'm going through this, I need to share it. You're welcome to come and do it here. But the episode that we do, we're going to open it up to more than a one-on-one. And I'm looking forward to that. So you'll be one of the first people like here to do that. I'm excited. And

01:01:02

that is so needed and to be shared from all our experiences. And where can people find you on social media if they wanna come and check into your world? Everywhere, baby. Everywhere. Obviously all the usual socials, Instagram, Marley Hayes. I'm not really active on Twitter or anything. I just go in there when Love Island's on because the tweets are really funny. Obviously I do my YouTube as well so you can just find me at Marley Hayes

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and then the same for all the music platforms. So Spotify, Apple Music, Bandcamp, if anyone wants to purchase anything. Yeah, you can just find me at my name, Marley Hayes. And as I was driving here listening to music, I love irony. So as I'm listening to music, I'm like, your music reminds me of like a hazy summer's day. Oh. Like that's where it took me, that's where it put me. And I'm like the irony of your name being Marley Hayes. And then that's the emotion that it conjures up. Oh wow.

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I don't know if you ever thought about that before but that's where your music put me. So if you guys are feeling like you just want a nice chill summer's day, go and tap into Marley's music and all the links will be in the description of this show. So I want to say a big thank you for coming today. It's been a long time coming. We've spoke about this for a while and this is manifesting. I love that people are showing up, people that I've had conversations with and they're taking the time and energy to come and do this. And share a big part of yourself and hopefully for the listeners, you'll hear the energy

01:02:32

that Mali brings today and the connection we've had and that will resonate through to you guys and you can take something from it. And if this has resonated with you today, all I ask is you just share it with someone that might benefit from the conversation. And go and check out Mali. She's got great YouTube as well where she lets you into a bit more of a personal life through like vlogging and vlogging, vlogging, vlogging, vlogging. Vlogging, I guess. Vlogging, yeah, video, video, blog. Yeah. Do you know what I don't even know? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

01:03:02

phone calls, that's what I'm going to call it as well. So it's great to see that side of you as well and even from an outside of being able to tap into you as a human and getting an understanding outside of the musicianship. So I want to say a big thank you for this today. Guys remember no matter what you're going through we all go through that difficult stuff but we can get back to life being in a better place. So no matter what you're going through remember life is good, life is sound, stay blessed, we'll see you on the next one.