008 | Trusting The Process w/ Jamie Lou

hello good people and welcome back to another episode of life is sound we're fully rolling  on the podcast now we're coming to the end of season one and today I've got another  amazing guest Jamie Lou we have connected over the years and kept in contact and  we drop each of the messages on social media things we're sharing things that resonate with  each of us and she's a person in life that I have thanked for things that she would share on social  media because I feel like we live in a day and age where social media can be dangerous and it  can have negative impacts on us but I feel the people that really choose to be vulnerable and  share certain things can really have a ripple effect out to other people so that's why I  wanted to get Jamie on the podcast and have an in-depth conversation I know it's going to be a  great one from brief convo that we've had before this so Jamie if you want to introduce yourself  who you are what you do and then we'll get into it hello hello and thank you for that introduction  um my name is Jamie Lou and I'm a yoga teacher and nutritionist and spiritual being having a human  experience I guess um yeah I'm just grateful to be here and I'm excited to chat so thank you I always  appreciate you coming and dedicating your time because you know that's all we have in it time's  the most valuable thing that's what I keep really appreciating to people you know if you come in  here and having a conversation and giving up your time to be here I'm just super grateful and when  I like look at you and see you on social media we only have a perception of what people choose  to share so I can only know you from a certain space yeah but what I see is somebody that's like  constantly in a process of something so what came up for me about what we would talk about  would be exactly that is trust in the process because I've seen you since I've known you and  you're somebody who seems to like just do things and you know things that would be scary to a lot  of people and it's just like you jump in but also you choose to share those Journeys with people and  I feel like that's a very like vulnerable thing to do and it can also Ripple out to other people  and impact their lives so what made you become that type of person that just you know would jump  into things obviously I know you've been you are a yoga teacher and you know you've studied nutrition  what got you on that journey of like trusting the process jumping into things and choosing to share  that with people that's a good question um I guess I could say I've always been like faithful I've  always had faith in something like from a really young age I was raised like in a Catholic way by  my grandparents so I wasn't really but I didn't believe in everything that I was listening to at  church but I always had a faith in something that stuck with me but then throughout my  teen years like I had a little bit of a struggled upbringing like I grew up around addiction and my  family Dynamics were really toxic so I say I went through my teen years really not trusting  the process at all and just trying to control everything trying to survive I remember thinking  when I was younger that life was a game and I had to survive I had to use what I could in order to  get my needs met and you know I've reflected on that it wasn't like I was thinking that at the  time but I remember thinking this is a game I need to survive here you know so I didn't trust the  process for a long time until it got to a point where I was like at my lowest point in my life  which was when I was 18 going on 19. um yeah it was just a really hard time I ended up in hospital  and it was like a really sad time for me but it was in that moment when everything was taken away  like I couldn't control anything and that I had no choice but to trust the process it was like I've  got nothing else that I can do here all of these things that I thought I could control before uh  completely out of my hands now and all I can do is trust and so that moment that was the worst  moment of my life turned out to be in reflection like the beginning of my life and a moment that I  can look back on now and actually say thank you for I mean it you know and it took me a while  to get there and even to be able to speak about it freely now with no shame no sadness no tears  well enough it's like oh wow this was something that I really had to go through to to become  somebody who can't trust the process and can know that things are never going to be  as bad as what we think they're going to be like they're never going to be as bad as what we think  we're going to be they're always going to be all right and so it just liberated me and gave me this  freedom to to take risks and to explore and to just want to learn about life and people and be  curious I guess so yeah we get so locked in like certain ways of doing things and some people when  they see people taking risks they'll try and talk them out of it or tell them all  that's not the right thing for you or don't do that because of this consequence and when you  find yourself in that position where nothing makes sense in life when you come out of that  you do want to explore new things and you know it's like you've got nothing to lose yeah in doing  that and if you can then take that and amplify that out to other people and get people on a  similar Journey sometimes people do have to go to that extreme like you know that true suffering  to know what that's like to be able to push other people in a positive direction some  people can just hear it from you know the likes of someone like yourself and then jump on board  and start to move in in the wrong way but it's a common thing that a lot of people um you know  self-aware or working on themselves or you know tapping into things like yoga meditation and these  things that really do help our mindset and help us grow as humans and it's a never-ending Journey  a lot of the time people have been in a really dark place not everyone but people have to go to  that place to understand like how difficult things can be and how empty life can feel  so like what we were talking about yesterday before this podcast you do start appreciating  Small Things oh yeah and it's it's like for me when I wake up I just say thank you yeah  I've woke up today when I'm before I go to sleep I'm like thank you I thank you for the daylight  appreciate it because tomorrow's not guaranteed and we all live our lives like we're going to be  here forever exactly and we're here for a very short time and I think like having people close  to me getting sick this year is just really re-highlighted that to me in my life that  you know we're here for a short time so whilst I'm here let's try and do some good in the world and  connect with people like yourself and other people that we you know mutually know and even strangers  to just start trying to level everyone up and and move forward and that's me  trusting this process as well like it's it's scary being vulnerable especially like when  you're putting it out on the internet to people we're just having a conversation in  a room now me and you there's technically no one watching but when I put it out there is  eyes on it yeah and it is a very strange thing and it is trusting the process completely and  what would you say trust in the process looks like to you if you had something come up and  you were like whoa this is a huge decision or something huge that is facing me whether it's  positive or negative because sometimes you can be scared of the positive things the positive changes  that are a bit overwhelming what would you say trust in the process looks like to you [Music]  I mean before I've always had this This and like got quite an adventurous spirit  so I kind of perceive life as an adventure a lot of the time so it's a lot harder for me  to trust the process when I'm going through a hard time obviously when I'm in a flow and  like everything's happening amazingly like of course it's easy to just say trust the process  but when things are really challenging and you know when Things Are getting heavy and people just  can say oh trust the process trust the process that doesn't land in the same way does it when  it is like yeah okay I'm trusting the process but why and all of these other questions come up it's  one of the worst things to hear someone say if you're going through it and someone says it's  you and you're like come on man I don't want you to say that right now I'm really going through it  yeah it can be really triggering actually if you say to somebody trust the process everything's  going to be fine when they're going through like the worst time of their life is yeah like no I and  yeah trusting the process doesn't always have to be like a positive thing it's not that trust the  process everything's fine it's like trust the process any negative emotion that I'm  going through any sadness that I'm experiencing is just as valid as any positive experience we have  this idea in society that we always have to be happy and everything should be positive and have  a positive mental attitude and I've realized in my journey like of course we should focus on the  positive and the perspective should be positive but if that means bypassing everything that's  actually going on for you and not admitting like I'm in a [ __ ] place I'm feeling sad like I also  need to validate that part of my experience you can trust that and you can trust that everything  changes and you can know that it's never going to stay bad it's never going to stay you know  negative it's going to change at some point so I guess just from experience really of noticing  that everything [ __ ] that's ever happened to me over some kind of years or some period of time  it's turned out to be one of the best things that's happened to me because of the lessons  the humility the vulnerability that comes from that like the ego deaths and like pulling back  the layers yeah so I think that like challenges are the greatest gift in some sense and if we  can look at it in that way and see that it's just building our spirit building our strength  then it helps it helps a lot because you can sort of zoom out and look at every struggle that you're  going through and just hold on and know that it's going to pass so I do believe that there is like  some kind of lesson in everything that that we go through and so I have a trust in that whether  something and whether any decision that I'm going to make ends up working out or not there's  a lesson in there for me and there's something that I can take from it whether it goes the way  that I want it to or not yeah so I kind of stick with that and run with that it's a it's a scary  thing isn't it because when it comes to like decisions and paths there's always two options  my dad's always said this to me like you've always got two paths when you're presented with a choice  and you can only ever know one of them and what we what we do as humans is we walk one of them  but we go oh I wonder what that one would have been like oh yeah yeah I think I've taken the  wrong part and it's so true that these whatever path you walk is the thing that gets you to the  right destination it might not have been the route you thought you would have took but you're always  in the right place and I can't like communicate that to the listeners enough especially when  you're going through the darkest of times that's when you feel like oh well what if I wouldn't have  done this or what if I would have made that choice there would this have been different yeah you're  always going to have to go through that thing however you get there yeah the tough times are  always always going to come and I think one thing I've noticed with with you on social media is we  all share the highlights of Our Lives don't we hey look at me doing this look at me doing that  on holiday look at my new car check my new watch all the things that we're all programmed to do on  this these platforms one thing I've observed with you is you rarely have shared like the vulnerable  side of you you know when it's not going well and you're going through it and you know you've  been vulnerable enough to to show yourself you know crying and I'm really going through it and  I think people can we'll watch something like that and resonate with it but as we said before  we spoke about his podcast there will be people that look at that and go oh she's after attention  and these things when you choose vulnerability and to share it it brings up so much in in us  as humans and I can like observe it and think how people might be reacting to this then that's just  the way I break things down I watch something like amazing that's beautiful now how might somebody  else yeah yeah yeah react to this but I feel like that's one thing you've done and I rarely  see people doing that on social media is saying hey here's me when things aren't going right and  things are a bit [ __ ] it takes a lot to be like I could never imagine like posting myself crying  on social media like saying you know it's not going well but in that you actually help a lot of  people what what chose you to make those decisions to open that up to other people well first of all  like I I have those same um like fears and worries like oh certain people are gonna judge me wrong or  judge me and think that I'm craving attention and blah blah that all goes through my head as  well it's not like I'm just throwing it out there without without anything exactly yeah I'm just  obviously I have those fears but I've done a lot of work on myself in that respect and I know that  anything that's like trapped inside of me that I'm allowing to come out that I'm allowing to  to come out like energy moving emotion moving through me is he it's healing me there's no shame  in that there's no shame in me being vulnerable and if I can everybody's vulnerable I'm not the  only person in the world that experiences that you know and I know that because I'm human and so are  you like we all experience vulnerability I'm just brave enough I guess I'll have  worked through some fears in a way that I'm not going to let the opinion of somebody that doesn't  even know me affects my expression yeah and it's like gives me a lot of power to be able to do  that you know to there's a huge part of me that wants to express itself all the time and no not  just when things are good when things are also not good because I'm human and it's the I'm the full  spectrum of all of these things and so um yeah it's a lot of work it's not it's not easy it's  like constantly reminding yourself like why are you why you want to put something out there it's  like I want to show that you know I'm human and I feel a lot and it's okay for you to to do the  same yeah I feel like everything that I put out be that like judge worthy or if that's even the  word I get it it gives people permission to do the same some people will judge me but people judge  everyone anyway so true you know like if I said something else then people will have an opinion  like I don't expect to not be judged and nor do I expect to be liked by everyone at like it's  just life there's always someone looking at what you choose to put out or I can relate a lot put  like a lot of great stuff about music and again it's a vulnerable thing when you put out like a  creation or something you spend hours and hours tapping into and then you go like what here you go  how are people going to react to it and what I've realized is no matter what you share whether it's  you know your journey of yoga you crying about how you're currently feeling new piece of music you  made this vocal performance this podcast whatever it is it's always going to be someone looking at  you with judgment and not liking what you're doing of course and it's taken me a long time to realize  you can have a million people saying oh I love that video you know where where you were just  open and pure and you were crying and you were being vulnerable and you can have like one person  go yeah like you're an attention seeker and our ego goes hope what what yeah excuse me what yeah  can we can we what because I wasn't doing it for that so yeah those triggers if we can get past  that it's a new level up of realizing that on on these platforms that we have the ability to share  if we can get past that thing of releasing and letting go and knowing there's going to be people  that don't like it yeah but the ripple effect to the people who are ready to receive it yeah  that's what it's all about exactly yeah you're gonna gravitate the people that get you like you  this is connected us yeah you know me being vulnerable has connected us together because  it resonates with you in some way yeah because you can see the humanness in it you know but of  course there's a lot of people that are not going to understand and a big massive like shift in in  our growth personally is is accepting that it's accepting like I want to be authentic so I have  to accept that lots of people are not gonna like that but what would you rather be like  authentic and express yourself in a way that's true to you or try and please everybody and  exhaust your spirit and exhaust yourself and I've realized there's no better feeling than  being in like Integrity with yourself it's like the most rewarding thing you can do and you end  up gravitating and magnetizing people that are aligned with you and then the people that are  not just unfollow me oh don't watch my story you know it doesn't mean that I have to please  you I'm not there to do that so but I I came across something the other day it said like  you put a video out on social media and it'll have X amount of views minimal likes yeah so it's  like people will watch what you're doing oh yeah yeah of course you will but but they want to see  it yeah yeah yeah you don't want anyone follow you yeah they want to see what you're about and  there's something that's intriguing but I don't want to like it yeah I fully like what you're  about but yeah but at the same time it's super intriguing so there's something really weird going  on in the psyche of like humans on social media where I know algorithms obviously push things to  us yeah but there is people that you know will sit on your personal platform and you might  trigger them but they won't unfollow you because there's something in them that I think they  are probably getting something from you yeah on some form and it is like when you choose to live  your truth and stand in your your own power of creativity or how you choose to express yourself  if you're trying to be other versions of what you think people want you to be like you said that is  so draining yeah and it's potent I think you can smell in authenticity it's like you can see it in  my life and I can feel it when somebody's just like not being authentic I can feel it when I'm  not being authentic and I don't like it I don't like it it doesn't resonate with me you know but  I think as well we're all human like I judge myself a lot of the time you know and so  I'm not going to sit here and deny that I've looked at people's videos and I'll judge them  as well of course you know I'm we're all in this we're all doing it well I'm not gonna like it yeah  we're all in it we're all in it but when I find myself doing that I'm like what is it about this  person that I'm judging what's that triggering inside of me like is it because she's so brave  that she's expressing herself in this way and I haven't got the courage to do that or is it you  know what is it's bringing up some kind of Envy or some what is it and because it's always about  us isn't it like when we're observing somebody and it makes you feel a certain way yeah yeah  it's always a mirror of what it's showing us yeah so it's an interesting like experiment to scroll  through and see what makes you feel something and wonder wonder why I wonder what what that is  and we're like the first humans experiencing this like years ago parents Generations before social  media you only had real real world interactions or photographs TV yeah but now you can look at  everything all the time yeah and it's such a like bombarding information overload to the brain and  one thing I've noticed with you as well even though you'll be vulnerable and you'll share  and you'll be open you'll also be like okay guys I'm taking a break from social media yeah  um I'll be back in however many weeks or however long that time is what's the reason behind you  doing that I I do it the same but it's something I need to practice more because I'm at a place now  where I feel myself getting triggered but one of what I want to do instead of unfollowing people  straight away or taking a break I want to start writing down what's triggering me and explore  the reasons behind them yeah yeah yeah before I just go oh that doesn't feel nice so see you later  yeah because I'm into it exactly I'm not I'm not trying to figure it out and process it and bring  it up and change it and let it go yeah what's the reasons you take those breaks from social media  um well it takes up so much energy like for one and I feel like as much as we can try and say oh  don't need external validation like social media is based on external validation like that's what  it is and I'll hold my hands up and say like I get that dopamine hit when someone like likes my thing  or when somebody comments everybody does and it becomes addictive and it and it does over time I  think affect your what you put out affects you end up trying to like mold yourself to be what people  want because more likes means more dopamine and so even on a subconscious level like you end up  performing in some way and um when I noticed that in myself like am I doing that have I  even had five minutes with myself before I want to post have I took in this scenery like myself  before I've shared it with the world like when I catch myself the the take the scales are tipping  the other way towards like performing to me having my own experience with myself then I'm like okay  this is when I need to have a break you know and and that's it always is the best thing ever like  having a break I I find though there's a balance because the last time that I had a break was a  quite a long one it was maybe like three or four months and then when I came back I didn't know how  to be I I couldn't go from being this super open vulnerable like exposing myself person to then  coming back and be in that version again I was like it's starting again yeah and like how could  I have been so vulnerable before how have I gone from like not being on on this at all to like like  posting myself crying and having like a breakdown on on social media it's just it's interesting it  sort of pulls you in but there's lots of people working to make us crave this to make us need it  to make it like something that we spend all of our energy on so they're doing a pretty good job I think I saw something about like Tick Tock and  the the scale of the emotions that you will experience within like two minutes of being on  the app so then after watching that video I went on Tick Tock and if that exact thing happened I  was watching like a comedy piece in stitches laughing my head off next minute there was  like a dog that was dying and I was in tears and what that video was saying is these quick Scrolls  don't allow you to feel into the emotion of pure laughter and comedy in real life we'll laugh and  we'll laugh for a bit and then we'll feel good and that'll settle down maybe 20 minutes late  you might talk about something sad and then we'll be into emotion but we'll that will then fizzle  out and then we might have a laugh again yeah Tick Tock is literally like 30 seconds happy 20 seconds  super sad 10 more seconds neutral yeah 10 seconds sad and it's what that's doing too the first set  of humans that are doing this experiment of social media I don't think we're going to figure out for  like Generations yeah because it's the first time we're having this emotional swing and see sort of  happy sad happy sad neutral believe this don't believe that it's such a strange thing and I  think those breaks are so necessary yeah I've I've had them and then when when you're having a break  you're like I'm missing I'm like the craziest thing is watching your thumb go to open an app  that you've taken off your phone that is crazy that my thumb is programmed whether you wake up  or whatever when you first pick your phone up it's trying to open Instagram but Instagram's not there  and I'm like wow that is that's worrying yeah yeah we become an autopilot yeah but that's how Tik-Tok  um Keeps Us engaged doesn't it it's like because I don't really use tick tock that much because  I feel like I give enough energy to Instagram but um I noticed when I did get it last year I  think it was in lockdown actually it became like everybody got Tick Tock didn't they in lockdown I found that I would be on it for like an hour I would be really entertained for that hour but it  felt like five minutes that's crazy and it was bizarre but that's like the crack for our man  mind isn't it it's like giving us all of this dopamine and sending us on this roller coaster  and you get literally sucked into it it's work it's like a Vortex like hands up admittedly the  other day my dog was up at like half five in the morning needed to go out for a walk got with him  took him out come back managed to settle him I couldn't then get settled so I went on my phone  went and Tick Tock and I was scrolling scrolling scrolling I'm wide awake and I'm knowing this is  going to wake me up even more because it's like really quick information yeah flying at my face in  a dark room with a bright light on and then before I knew it was like half seven yeah and I went I've  just been on Tip Top for two hours what the [ __ ] oh my God and I I closed my phone and put it down  I went that is ridiculous wow and I rolled over and tried to score back to sleep and I did go back  to sleep for a couple of hours and it's like what that's one thing you realize when you have a break  is how much time you spend on it I like you have so many more hours in the day it's really worried  to get things done things just get done like yeah that's one of the best things about about having  a break is you just become so much more present yeah you have so much more space in your diary and  you've gained like five hours of your day and it's some days you know it's like wow how could I spend  so much time on this device the worry of it is it's like as beautiful it is where you can connect  with people like us and say hey do you want to come and do the podcast yeah sure I think that  would be great and then this is going to go out to people and hopefully affect them in a in a great  way but the danger is screen time I've had this conversation recently like screen time if you've  got any screen time on your phone look at your daily screen time let's say on average it might  be four hours for a normal person I've had times doing lockdown I got up to like 11 hours a day  this is ridiculous and it'll be I'll be watching stuff on YouTube yeah one up but add that up for  the week add it up for the month for the year it's scary for a decade and then when you told me that  you didn't make your dreams happen yeah look at why oh my God and honestly the numbers I'm gonna  do it on a podcast I do it now but I'm really bad at maths so it's it'll be 77 hours a week  all right let's let's see okay let's say you're on your phone for let's say five hours a day35 hours a week yeah yeah and then that's 140 hours a month  right I'm interested in you because I even messed up 140 hours a month and then except me  not trusting you're still doing it oh my God and then a year 1004 00 1 600 and something  1600 680 hours yeah and then if you do that oh my God even even that is just scary isn't it in days that is 70 days out of the Year looking at your phone now imagine someone  said I need you to look at your phone for 70 days straight with no break no out of a year  and that's only five hours a day yeah so people are getting you know screen time  Way Beyond that and what could you apply those five hours if you only  limited your time to one hour a day yeah five hours of chasing dreams and you know I do get really positive things from Tick Tock like I said this license it's when I when I took a step back and I was like right this is my screen time for the year  if somebody locked me in a room and said stare at your phone for this amount of time no breaks  that's terrifying yeah it is the amount of time I'd probably die yeah you check out after  a bit you bet it's too much um but yeah that's ridiculous and but yeah I don't also want to like  say all the bad things about social media because it's given me so many things you know in terms of  like connections jobs like beautiful opportunities and creative creatively speaking as well like  there's loads of positive things about it it's up to us to have that um like uh discipline  discipline with ourselves to be able to to say no this is enough now yeah and also to put things out  there that are meaningful like that's also quite important I think even if it means something just  to you like it doesn't have to mean anything to the world but if it's meaningful then you  feel like oh I've made this memory that's always going to be there on my feed or you know giving  things meaning rather than look at me I look sexy today I always think what's crazy as well  is like I always think about future Generations so imagine you're a great great grandkids can see  what you were doing yeah in like 2022 yeah and this is what one thing we're not aware of like  what our future Generations are going to see what we're like for you know the content we're putting  out and I'm not sure of that from like an ego perspective I'm like oh I want my great great  grandkids to love me but it's like I want them to know I did something with my time here yeah that  tried to like be positive do you think that people are gonna be on Instagram in great great grandkids  time not not on the platform but I think there'll be something that archives where you can go right  Jamie Lou 2022. okay oh my God that was my great great yeah yeah yeah yeah like she's twerking and  doing the splits like she loves she loved that or look she's crying and being vulnerable and it's  it's not something we think about because it's all it's so new to us yeah that we're not thinking  like imagine being able to find your great great Granddad and what you was physically doing and  moving like and talking like and who his friends were what his friends did yeah and you start to  build this whole picture of the past it's going to be a trip for future Generations that's true  that's true I never actually thought about like that I always think in the future we'll just be  like flying yeah flying and having like robots and by the way I've not seen James work or do  the splits I was just like me saying like a random thing is not probably what you'll find if you go  on a page it depends what she's feeling that day exactly but is it such like a it's such a strange  tool I've been able to be creative vulnerable expressive and not letting it suck you in and  like comparison is the devil on that oh yeah comparisons to devil in life in general isn't it  and social media completely amplifies that doesn't it for everyone because you can see everyone else  yeah but most people on social media look at their own profile more than anyone else is I  think like they're looking at who's looked at the story like what their pictures are what they're  gonna post I think anyway I mean I spend more time thinking about what I'm gonna put out there than  scrolling through other people so it's just interesting how we just we think that people are  watching us and it affects our Behavior it's just like a big Mindful and the people deciding what  your algorithm is so like on Instagram I think you want to get shown five to ten percent of like if  you put poster it's only going to five percent ten percent of your followers wow so not everyone's  seeing who you are and what you're about and vice versa so you're you're getting shown the same  people again and again yeah and then that's this Echo chamber like luckily I'm showing someone like  you and you know people who resonate with what I'm about as a human but even that is like a danger  that you forget that there is people really just there oh will allow Jamie to see this this and  this yeah and then you're consuming it's like without realizing your mind is being shaped by  you know what you're what you're taking in yeah and that is decided by someone else it's not this  free loving you get to see all your followers or everyone you follow you see all their content yeah  it doesn't work like that so it is it's having that awareness of using the app rather than the  apps using you yeah totally and I suppose that goes like the same with the mind as well you know  you say you know your mind will renew if you don't learn how you know control it and it's the same  as social media yeah and as I'm saying this to you I'm saying it to myself it's like a constant  reminder to to make sure I'm checking myself because sometimes the screen time is crazy and  if you're with your friends to the listeners I see if you're out for having a meal or you're around  having lunch just say hey as a little laugh let's all just see what our screen times are and check  each other on it because it is a terrifying thing when you actually look at it yeah that's crazy  whoever's the highest pay for lunch yeah something like that but it is it's scary how much time we're  on these on these things when you know you've got things to do and you've got dreams to chase yeah  but the beauty is like I said seeing you share things and I know you you had a big Journey when  you were thinking about going to IB for and I think maybe you even shared that on social media  yeah should I go should I stay yeah and I think I was like do it and I'm sure you had loads of  people you know say the same even though probably your close friends and family we're gonna miss you  but what was that decision like had you had lived in IB for before or was this a brand new Venture  that you were going out there to pursue something new um so I lived in Ibiza actually when I was 20.  I went there for six months and it was the best six months of my entire life it just like opened  my mind to so much and I made my best friends in the world that was one of those situations  as well where it was like trust the process because in to everyone else it looked and even  maybe to me it was like I was running away from Manchester in a way I was like I want something  new I want to enjoy myself I want to like not get caught up in this like constructs that we live in  where you should be this at this stage in your life by a certain age and everybody's speeding  up growing up and I'm like I've only just started being a child like I'm not I'm not gonna grow up  anytime soon like I'm not ready for this so I went to a beef and it just opened up my heart mind soul  throughout through being around like many people that had the same spirit and um me and my best  friend now we started to wake up we weren't awake we just thought we was at that age you know but we  started to ask questions like about life and about the meaning of life and about questions that I'd  never even 3 A.M I'd be before oh yeah oh yeah you know those ones those questions those questions  are super powerful though like they're really important questions to ask and because you can't  answer them but it creates curiosity doesn't it and it makes you think outside the box so  Ibiza always had like a really special place in my heart and I was going back there like year after  year on holidays and stuff and then when kovid here and I was self-employed and I didn't have  any work on I was literally watching Game of Thrones I'd not watched it until uh covered so  I was like yeah yeah I spent like three weeks watching that drinking red wine I get jealous  when people say I've started this and I've never watched it I'm like oh do you know that feeling to  be discovering that show again from the beginning it was amazing I had to start a lot down that's  like you couldn't think of anything but I know I know it was it was saving it for for that time  obviously and then I was with some girlfriends doing like a women's circle like that's one of  the things that have really helped support me and that my challenges in life is connecting  to women because it's a really safe space to be vulnerable and that's also a thing that helps  me be vulnerable on social media because I know that a lot of men are not gonna get it yeah you  know and I get that but a lot of women do because we all feel the same things I'm not special like  we all feel so emotional and sad especially women I know men do as well but I think we're  stereotypically a bit more emotional than men and so it I know that there's a lot of women that see  me in that vulnerable side and support me and they get it yeah so I have like a nice support network  of women and um on this day one of my friends just said why don't you go to Ibiza and it was  just like oh yeah yeah it's just click thank you yeah I'm going and uh then I was like oh should I  go am I being too rational like I just put up with somebody as well so I was like uh but then I just  ended up going and I was really really committed to staying there as well like I went there like  all in as I do anything that I choose to do I'm always like 100 committed until I'm not and then  when I'm not I'm like okay it's time for something new now but when I'm there I'm fully there so  ibiza's got this kind of mystical Spirit to it where if you commit to the Island the island  commits to you and it just Embraces you it's a special place it is isn't it it's just magical and  so uh yeah it just was like a roller coaster when I look back it's like I was sat I arrived in Ibiza  was sat on a roller coaster went on this amazing ride and then got off and come back and it just  feels like that do you know during that time like watching someone's story like on Instagram you get  so invested it's like you're watching a TV show that you like come back into every now and then  there's little things like you the car you had out there breaking down and it's crazy how I know so  much of your journey by just seeing it just being on Instagram and going oh my is that you're just  seeing like a little two minute clip of someone like once a week or you know when you're sharing  yeah and you know you learn in Spanish and sharing this whole journey it is like amazing that we can  see these journeys of people when you choose to share it and it does trigger loads of things in  yourself like oh I wish I you know could go and do that and it's not that you can't everyone can go  and do whatever but it's so with you can get bits of inspiration and figure out how that can fit  into your life or it might not look like me being a yoga team to move into Ibiza to teach yoga but  when you share Journeys like definitely does inspire and makes you wanna you know go and  pursue something in some way yeah of course knowing how magical ibifer isn't seeing that you  know you were teaching yoga learning Spanish and it's like it's a lot like such a a great life like  from my perspective yeah she live in it and when I said go do it and you do it and I'm like I'd love  to see that yeah it was amazing it was like the best two years of my life because I feel like it  was just soothing muscle in every way being like super connected to Nature connected to like-minded  people just embraced by the island itself you know just meeting wonderful people from all walks of  life that you wouldn't meet in Manchester like a beast is like a place where everybody in the  world goes to yeah you know so you meet people from all over the world like my best friends were  not from England like my group of friends were not from England so it was really nice to be exposed  to different cultures and just to understand different human beings like that fascinating yeah I see you share things like I think one time you were like oh I'm heading off into the woods  for like a couple of days I won't be on Instagram or something and I'm like for me I'm like I wonder  what the what's in our beef will look like because obviously I've never been in the woods in ibif  I've been to IB you've spent time there but I'm like I'd love to see what that looks like and but  probably is like yo what you're doing you're taking a tent like I wanted to know more I'm  super intrigued but yeah yeah these Journeys and then you just pop up like at some point you know  sharing something else after but what did those little trips look like to you and IB for like  the non-traditional because I when we say IB for we're not seeing IB for you there partying every  day like you know living that life of Ibiza it's really you tapping into the magic of that Island  Bridge when you've been you really feel I didn't go till I was 30 and when I got there I was like  how have I missed all in this for so long my wife had been doing it yeah and what is what did that  side of ibifa look like when you're going off into the woods and spending a couple of days I think  even on on your own yeah like completely alone what yeah I know so uh as much as Ibiza is amazing  like it's incredible everything has Darkness and Light yeah me you yeah and Ibiza and this is a  book title the stimulation like you're constantly stimulate it be that from the Sun the sea the  people you meet like the constant entertainment like everybody being so open and wanting to take  you places and I guess like I was attracting a lot of the energy that I was putting out  so people were I was always busy you know I was always like meeting new people and blah blah blah  and um that gets a lot after a while I was like I've been here for four months and I've not had  one day to myself like I've I don't even know any of these people properly you know when you're  getting your own head and you're just like I don't even know how to get these people like  who am I again Anita really need to spend some time on my own and  um this this guy that I was seeing who's a friend of mine now Lorenzo he'd been on the island for  10 years and so I met him and he just showed me so many like gems of the island and that  was like such a gift for me because he took me to all of the places that people who I knew had  lived there for six years never been never been to within my first few months so I was like oh  my God this is perfect and he took me to this place at the in the top of the island and uh  I just knew that I wanted to spend some time there on my own it was his like people in Ibiza who know  the hidden gems get a bit territorial so he was like this is this is my place  but yeah I'm gonna go and spend time yeah two days on my own then yeah exactly so I  um I went there and it was just amazing it was kind of cold it was in November and I took a  tent I took like a pad and paper and writ 80 pages of journaling like I filled a pad full  of all of the things that it was a trip for me for like that four months was incredible I had  an insane time but I just had so many stories to write down so I wrote all of that and then I went  swimming every day and I was trying to get away from the parties because although I wasn't going  to the clubs they weren't open I was still going to like Gatherings and partying way more than I  would here just because of the abundance of things that are going on all the time  and uh it's just in the spirit there isn't it yeah every day's a party you can't escape no and you  don't want to either like it's like why I'm not I'm not drinking I'm like I'm enjoying myself I'm  just dancing and it's but even after a while of that I was just a bit tired of it but anyway at  day four of this I did 10 days by the way yeah well I say on my own that was the intention  and then after um five days it was getting a bit cold I think the temperature dropped  quite a lot in the night but at that point and I just this is like quite a remote beat  and November's classed as winter so there's hardly anyone there in Ibiza  and I just saw this like canoe canoe kayak kayak coming down like the hill with two men holding  one end and it was filled with booze and like food and then like 20 Argentinian people coming  down so I thought oh my gosh like do I hide I'm just like here alone that's such a predicament  I would get myself in like they see me trying to hide another light oh it's so awkward but  um obviously I couldn't I couldn't hide so I just said hello and then they asked me what I was doing  and they were super interesting Argentinian people are the most like wonderful spirited  people have ever met it was the first time that I'd ever been like in close contact with them  and after a while at first I was resistant like you guys have ruined my meditation but then I was  just like whatever I'm gonna go with this and just enjoy myself with these people so I was just like  partying and dancing and enjoying myself for a day with them and they gave me a quilt they gave me that's what's happened to me Time After Time After Time Again is when I have trusted the  process the process has said thank you for thank you for trusting me here you go there's a gift  it's like take the leap and the net will appear that you you're always gonna be all right and  it's really hard to say that to someone because there's so much fear but try it you know just  try it you're all you're always going to be rewarded for trusting in in the process like  I've found anyway yeah something so much better than you could ever imagine will show up if you  just take that leap of faith it's a cliche take a leap of face but there's so much truth in all  of these cliches that we have it's like a rule of life if you're brave enough to take the leap  then you will be rewarded nobody who is like influential successful like Legends nobody has  got there without taking some kind of leap of faith and trusting the process and having like  a a sort of confidence in in themselves and in the adventure of life and you know knowing that  there's more to it than the rat race there's more to it than working every day for someone else and  like watching other people live their dreams you deserve the the life of your dreams just as much  as as everyone else does so it's just having the faith in that I guess it's so true and also I feel  like it's Society programs and conditions you to feel out right I'm gonna go and move to Ibiza I  don't know what that looks like and I might be back at some point it's not like I'm going to  Ibiza and if I've come back I've failed yeah of course there's so much pressure on people that  make these choices and decisions to try something new if you end up back where you came from yeah I  didn't work you didn't you didn't do well and it's sometimes it's not about that it's just  yeah you need to go and experience that thing like you're back here now and who's to say you won't be  somewhere else in six months or a year yeah and that's what we've got to get out of our head in  in society that have to try something it doesn't work yeah that's okay yeah yeah yeah it's leading  you to the thing that will be right for you all that experience is exactly what you needed at that  time yeah and when you were down on that beat did you know you were going to go and do 10 days or  were you just like rolling with it I plan to do 11 days actually but then by the 10th day I just had  enough it was like it was the right time for me to to finish it so initially I wanted to do 11 days  I just I just got that number in my head from from somewhere I don't know where it was but after that  I just felt amazing it was like I had showed that I had so much resilience like I just enjoyed doing  the simple things like the rituals of swimming every day making my food but collecting wood  making a fire every night oh wow this is a novel it was amazing it was it's like super amazing and  there was this little cat that came it was like the most remote peach in Ibiza bought this cat  that came and said hello to me every morning when I was doing my yoga practice and yeah just it was  just like a a special moment for me I didn't even have my phone or anything so it was just beautiful  and that's trust in the process because obviously like I could be afraid that somebody's gonna come  and kidnap me or I'm a woman you know being in the in the forest of my own so there's loads of  fears that I had to just say no I trust it this is what I need to do for myself for my soul I wanted  to do a vapassana like a 10-day silent meditation yeah I've wanted to do that for a really long time  but this was my way of like doing a vapassana for myself because it was covered they weren't doing  the passengers so I have lots of those in the past and I've always like you know checked out  the very news or the locations and I'm like it'd be so interesting to go and do it and  something's always just stop me as of as I've you know taken that leap and I think that's something  I definitely want to do probably next year is some type of retreat whether it's a silent Retreat I'm  not sure but something where you just putting yourself in a different environment tapping out  a society for a bit Yeah and just tapping in with yourself and connecting with yourself yeah and  a lot of people don't ever do that I know in a lifetime I know it's scary that's uh that's uh  tapping out and having a break but when do you ever just connect with you and I spoke  about another podcast you know self-love what that looks like not not going on a walk with somebody  and I know you do this a lot as well you'll go and walk on your own yeah I have found this to  be one of the most beneficial things ever for me I love walking with my friends and chatting  I love that as well I love when you're with friends and you get past that 20 minute Mark  and then you find yourself all in silence that's amazing when you realize that everyone is just  trickling out and shutting down and letting go yeah of feeling the need of having to fill space  with conversation completely and when you can get to that when you're with people it's amazing but I  found walking on my own such a beautiful process of like literally Feeling High at the end of it  like like I've been smoking or doing some type of drug do you know what I mean like outside just  from walking and listening to music yeah and these little acts that we can do and they shape you  and relax you and help you in this we're living quite a hard world I think quite a dense time  informations you know left and right up and down all the times you don't know what to believe and  I feel like it's designed for it to be like that so we are living in a state of confusion  so we need to find that time to tap into yourself without any external influence and you do that a  lot and you do it and I'll let you talk about this because you're the you're the master of  this world compared to me but no you'll do it like you know in terms of mushrooms and micro  dosing do you want to explain to the listeners of like how you got into that world and what  that looks like to you now and if someone like myself is like wanting to get into it how you  would tip toe into that process of opening up to the world of of mushrooms and I'm not  talking the ones that you're chopping up in you know something like that yeah um so I wouldn't  necessarily recommend anyone to to do mushrooms because I think it's a personal thing for everyone  but you can just read the literature now and the science and see the successful people that  are talking about them to know that they are just incredible if used in the right  way my personal experience it took me a while to like open myself up to mushrooms because  there's this stigma with psychedelics that they turn you into like crazy and like wild and yeah  you know you become like one of those people that wears like old leopard print pants with a stripy  top and a fluffy hat and walk to the shop with orange hair and all of that mad stuff watch me  start doing mushrooms and that's exactly right because well there's nothing wrong with that  there's nothing wrong with that at all but like there's a there is a stigma attached to it that  you become like a little bit wild and crazy it's that term that we said you know before we spoke  about this the hippie yeah these terms that are used to like apply something negative to a  positive change and has that been used over time to stop people delving into things and language  is a powerful tool to you know direct people away from positive things and found that a lot over the  years as I've been opening up and not relating to mushrooms but you know changing and growing as a  person people say these things to you ingest yeah but there's something that as you change You're  triggering Something in them while they're being stagnant in their own current existence which is  fine people arrive at different destinations when they're ready but I do feel like this language has  been used against people like you know like trying things and yeah it's always seen as a  negative thing in it like mushrooms are records people that want to get off their heads but yeah  you can see now society and people are sharing and trying you know go into circles and ceremonies and  people like yourself that are going on walks and micro dosing or even dosing yeah like and going on  walks and exploring nature it really is happening and now the science is there yeah so it's like the  people that are going to name call it's like hey you're the ones that need science yeah exactly  all right so here's the science and we'll just be like I told you so it's a journey I'm definitely  like I've done mushrooms in the past but not on an active level where it's it's constantly in my  system and seeing it as a medicine rather than a let me let me see what this high is like yeah  um something that just came up when you said that is that the use of language and a big word that  people like get really taken aback by is drugs like uh mushrooms are drugs uh alcohol is a drug  like obviously all of those things that we have in what people have in their bathroom cabinet  are drugs but because somebody who we don't know who doesn't want you to take mushrooms  that grow from the earth has said that's a drug that's illegal that that it just obviously puts  everybody into that fair State nobody listens to themselves and thinks this is growing on  the earth I mean nobody's died ever died from it people have amazing experience it makes you  happier but it's illegal like how does that even make sense it's actually mind-blowing it's crazy  it's it's literally crazy so that's not another thing trust not just trusting the process but  trust yourself like does that make sense that that's illegal it doesn't make sense to me and  so I've always been a little bit rebellious in my mentality and if something doesn't seem  right to me I'm not gonna buy it it's like yeah I don't believe you I don't know you so why am I  gonna take your word for it you know I'll do my own research and that's what I started to  do when I was younger it's like 21 I started to be curious about psychedelics just after coming  back from a Visa actually I had not taken any any mushrooms or anything then that year but  I was going to Thailand in the the winter and so I started to sort of be curious and do loads  of research about like the the benefits and what psychedelics do and I took them for the  first time in Thailand that's that winter and I just had a deeply profound experience but it  was an experience that was like it kind of put my back up against the wall this is why I wouldn't  recommend it to everyone willy-nilly I would say be careful because just because psychedelics are  very very powerful substances so I was like whoa okay I'm in a different kind of Dimension here  not not like different world I'm still here but it's like there's a glaze over over this reality  that's more magical more more animated more [Music] um interactive with nature so I was  aware of that and I realized from that very first time that these are not something that I want to  take recreationally this is something that's got a lot of power a lot of information to give me and  I have to respect it because yeah otherwise it could go wrong and I think everybody who I has  ever said they had a bad trip the three things you should probably ask is what environment was you in  did you 100 want to take them before you did or was you like convinced to do it and like what  was you combining it with was you drunk was you stuck high was you you know did you eat crap that  day all of these things that affects the trip that you have like massively so um yeah from that first  experience I think I waited like even two years to have them again and it just became like something  that I would do every couple of years or every now and again over the last two years living in  Ibiza and even before that it would be something that I do to to I call it to top myself or for  to reset so every three months I will Deep dive and have a have a trip and it's always like a big  shift in Emotion for me like I just I'm able to reset I'm able to see things from a clearer  perspective and they're just for me like one of the biggest teachers in my life because I've  healed from so much drama and let go of so much stuff and just find the lightness in so much from  from psychedelics so they're a gift and even like going on walks and finding them it's just  I find that whole process really healing before you even eat them you know just walking finding  them and they're mysterious little beings you know they're always on the path you'll be walking or  a path over there so it's like it's mind-blowing when you think about it yeah like how many humans  what started the process of that becoming illegal yeah what happened at what point of time for some  government or controlling authority to say this is getting out of hand yeah people really must  have been leveling up yeah quite quickly I believe so I think it was around like the time of Martin  Luther King and the hippies and that's when LSD became huge and that the hippie culture became  massive yeah and then it just all got stopped like all of the funding for all of the research just  got stopped one day and so this is where breath work actually speaking became like a big thing  from them because I I forget the scientist's name now but he realized that you can get to  the spaces that you can get to with psychedelics through breath work so he started to Branch out  into into breath work because there was no longer allowed to do this psychedelic research obviously  people still did it like ramdas and like all these Psychonauts they still carry on doing it  um but yeah I just think that in 10 20 years all of these stigmas that we've we've attached  to psychedelics will be lifted and it will just be like what a gift they help people to  be happier and healthier and think outside of the box and less judgmental and so yeah I find  them wonderful she's been suppressed because at that time the music industry was shifted on  purpose as well to end that psychedelic sound and it it shifted into a completely different  space and energy and there's people that you can find documentaries on YouTube about that time of  you know the the hippie movement when people were opening up and mindsets were changing it  was all about love and you know experimentation and expression it was a conscious Collective  effort to shift people out of that so you know Banning the substances being undertaken change  the music they're listening to or the direction of it because the labels have control to do that  yeah and it literally how long ago was that that's a long time ago you know I mean 60 60 years and  it's now everyone's rediscovering it again it's like how long can you suppress something for so  it'd be interesting to see whether it opens up hopefully it does people are more open to  it or whether there'll be a wave of trying to suppress it again when people do really start  delving in and waking up together yeah yeah because it is a medicine if you're growing on  the planet it's a medicine exactly it can be a medicine and a poison though that's why I  wouldn't want to like persuade everybody to do it and I would never do that because everything can  be a medicine and a person that you can't just see the positive sides of things in the wrong context  a psychedelic trip could be awful you know so I think they're always being cautious and having  awareness of things is just super important with powerful substances yeah but it just makes me feel  confused about society when people are willing to pay God knows how much a cocktail is in Manchester  now I think like 12 quid or something people are willing to spend like 150 quid on a night out to  feel like [ __ ] the next day maybe even for like the next three days myself included sometimes  and they don't see that as poison in themselves or affecting the mental health negatively because  it's such a normal thing to do in society we don't see that as um damaging ourselves just  because somebody says it's legal and it's normal but going for a walk in nature on your own and  eating something that comes from the ground is classed as taking drugs and crazy it just  it's interesting it's an interesting perspective but it doesn't make sense and I feel like that's  the planet we live on everything's inverted yeah so the things that make sense to people actually  don't make sense and vice versa yeah and hopefully we'll we'll transcend out of that and hopefully  it's the things like like mushrooms and US tapping back into nature yeah maybe that's the only way we  will wake up out of this denseness that is the current state of the human existence obviously  I'm saying that from a very privileged place of living in the UK with you know in a country  that's financially stable even though it's a crazy time at the same time by the standard of  this country yeah and all these people around the world that you know are way worse suffering but in  terms of the planet in itself I think we live in quite a dense existence yeah because we've  distance ourselves from our nature yeah completely we've literally been programmed  and shaped by probably a huge influence of you know technology and things we consume via that  and I think maybe the only way to go out that is by what we actually consume that nature gives us  and tapping back into that of course when you do take mushrooms you feel so connected to Nature  it's like you you understand that you are a part of nature it's just like it's a very so you don't  the trees don't talk to you but it's a very subtle like communication it's like you feel part of the  earth you feel a part of Nature and it's such a such a beautiful feeling you know like the last  thing you want to do is look at your phone one you can't read it anyway most of the time but  you don't want to be involved with technology you want to be involved with like Yeah The Universe  And if you do that thing feels so wrong and so alien like what is that right now yeah yeah  yeah can't do that that's going to send me down the wrong way and it is something that like I'm  definitely going to get into more I've done it in the past my first time with Thailand as well okay  typical full moon party yeah like drunk high oh let me do let me do mushrooms as well but  I remember standing on the beach and I was with a group of people I was traveling on my own but  I was with like a probably a good 10 12 people and I just walked into the water like shin height and  I was just looking at the ocean and everything was just vibrant and colorful and I was like what this  is not alcohol but I didn't know the true essence of what the mushroom experience was because I was  drinking all night or smoking all night so I didn't have that true experience with it and  I've had little experiences along the way but not enough now where I want to start using it  as medicine rather than oh let me do this because other people are doing it or let me do this and  see how I feel now it's like I'm seeing people like yourself and other people online and you  know the the scientists the professionals that are showing you this is how you do this yeah to  open yourself up to something new and in existence that we don't yet all know exactly and mother  nature is really intelligent really smart like we come from that so we don't even understand  the intelligence of our body like nowhere near so we can't understand the intelligence of of these  mushrooms but we can trust them and they are so intelligent like I was thinking this why do they  come out in autumn uh why would a mushroom come out in Autumn obviously the environment is perfect  for them to come out then but it's also around the time where we're about to experience like five  months of darkness like five months of sad and all of these like negative emotions that people  experience in winter so it's a perfect time to top people up like to reset people and maybe the  hunter-gatherers and the people that would have hit them and they had none of these legislations  they knew that oh this is a gift from Mother Earth that's popping up at this time just when  we need it to you know what I mean it makes sense it's all like divinely orchestrated I believe and  so yeah I don't know if you look at how like mushrooms are connected and you  know stuff I've watched over the years and you sit there and you're like what  and there was something I think it was like maybe a a Japanese subway system oh yeah and  fungi yeah and they've obviously done whatever and you know Place fungi in in the same layout  of what the subway system is like a model version of it and this thing has has grown  and figured out the fastest route to one point to another yeah but then also started to redesign  the subway system so it's it's more like more efficient more efficient no I know I was blown  away this is one of the videos that I watched when I was trying to convince myself to to take  them yeah and I saw that and I was like oh my gosh and then the stone date Theory yeah that's Paul's  name and Joe Rogan all of these people that have like really convinced they convinced me because  they know what they're talking about they're not just like random people raving about it so yeah  um I'm just really grateful for them actually and I also had this I think it's quite vulnerable to  talk about psychedelics because you're still kind of I know that it's accepted and in Ibiza  everybody's doing them and it's still like it's it's still quite a stigmatized subject but I feel  like I want to talk about them now because they've given me so much in my life and I know that they  have so much to offer like the world so I want to I want to speak about them in a way like because  I think why should you should be ashamed of something that's genuinely helped you just because  of what other people are going to think about you yeah you know so they've helped me and I'm  an advocate for them like for myself so why would I hide that no one should tell you anything about  your reality and your experience and it is again going back to the same thing we keep saying trust  in the process of speaking the truth and sharing it and knowing this is going to connect with  with people and knowing there's going to be people there that don't agree with what you're saying and  think you're absolutely off your Russia and that's okay yeah that's okay it's people get to live the  lives and explore new things and we're here trying to help people do the same and you know take leaps  of faith and you know delve into new things and not get stuck in a stagnant existence while we're  here for a very short life exactly yeah we're here for a minimal amount of time do we get to go again  I'm not sure I believe personally maybe we do but that's a completely different episode yeah  yeah but it is it's beautiful to see you know people opening up sharing and you know Finding  communities to do that with and create safe spaces and I know you you do that you know with the  women's circles yeah it's great to see that from the outside and I said this on another podcast  um you know looking at these circles they look they look great from the outside yeah  yeah they are I'm a man how do I get in because I want to experience a bit of  that but I do fully respect you know that that you guys share something in those spaces that  is needed amongst yourselves of course in this world when we're living in a very strange time  for women over the years you know we've had multiple things happen and we won't delve into it  too deep but women still live a very like fearful existence on this planet into here you you know  go to IB for choose to spend 10 days on your own and overcome those fears knowing that what women  have to experience as an existence and then see 20 strangers approaching you on the beach that moment  there I can only process that as a man and as a man for me that is right I'm gonna have to either  hide yeah like you said be seen hiding and be super awkward or if this goes the wrong way I  I'm gonna have to get physical yeah and that's that's a man stance and from a woman's stance  even though you can get physical if there's people in front of you that are physically  built differently yeah it must be such a a a different existence and I feel like it's great  when you see you know women coming together and expressing and sharing because there is still a  lot of fear around just existing as a woman you know when when for example my mum will come here  um at the weekends and she'll take the dog home for the weekend and  I worry about her walking the dog at night in the winter because I'm like it's just my  mum out in the world walking the dog yeah and I don't ever have to I can be out here  at three four in the morning I don't really worry too much I'm StreetWise so I'm wearing  my surroundings but I'm not like oh I'm gonna get kidnapped yeah it's just not part of like  what we have to really worry about as a man so I suppose it is amazing for you know to hear these  stories from yourself and living in in your power even though there is that fear there  and it must take a lot of courage to do that well I was raised in Ashton underlying yeah I'm good I'm good yeah exactly so and IP for God you you yeah I mean I don't know I just  there's certain things that I'm just not afraid of in that sense maybe that's a little bit naive  because but it's never got me in trouble so far I think there is a fine line between trusting  and also being a little bit naive it's never got me in trouble where I've got myself into  like a really dodgy situation yeah maybe once or twice actually thinking about it  um but I think it's much easier to trust people I find that it's much better to trust people that  opens up so many more opportunities if you see the best in someone than to close off because  you're afraid that's always paid off for me um and just yet about these women's circles this is what  women have been doing for like thousands of years in every culture in every tribe in India in Africa  in Scandinavia women are gathering round circles to talk to each other and to heal each other and  it you don't even have to talk about much it's not like casting spells or The Cauldron and all of  that stuff it's just talking about what's what's true for you and I feel like as well one thing I  don't want to go too much into women but we're our culture is designed to make women compete  against each other and we live in a competitive world I guess is some kind of competitiveness in  our nature because we we want to find a man or we want to get a job or whatever it's there for  sure but that's definitely Amplified within this comparison and social media yeah and so creating  these spaces it just allows women to to express their vulnerabilities and to praise each other  and to see that all of these insecurities that we have in these fears and these like little jealousy  things that come up and like she's skinnier than me she's more beautiful me blah blah blah  it's we all have those feelings and it's much more beautiful to celebrate someone than it is  to to like say something bad about them yeah I think that's what actually makes you beautiful  is being able to approach someone and give them a compliment and just to like get on board with them  and so it releases so much fear and it's really really helped heal me it's like therapy I've  been like sitting there with your girlfriends and it gives you this courage to be like yeah I can  show my vulnerable side because I'm a woman I'm obviously feeling this like this way so I'm why  not share it so yeah they're just the best thing ever I'm gonna do one for my 30th birthday it's  like my gift to myself yeah it's it's obviously you look and you compare as a man I'm like  I know I've learned since that you know there is men out there doing circles but obviously  the difference of the to the women's circles and it is I've I grew up with my mum so like I  like being around female energy I've always been that way love being around my boys I absolutely  love it but I get a lot of like nurture and knowledge from females in my life I think I  said this yesterday I had a time where I had a really guilty moment where I'm on I'm online  for years maybe even a decade you know I'm getting information left right and Center helping me grow  I was I just came to a point where it's all coming from males because I've got no female  inspirational knowledge influence coming into my life and I was like that's a worry but I  know I'm still quite tapped into my feminine side like I don't shy away from it it took me  about three four months before I realized that it's my real world connections where I get the  feminine energy and intuition and knowledge and healing and nurture okay I get it all from the  real world and I was like I'm good I've got the balance yeah yeah but I started to beat myself up  about it because I was like I'm getting too much of one thing than not the other yeah yeah yeah  that I feel like people should seek that out especially men if you're in certain  environments and it's just male like sink the opposite always see the opposite yeah  because we need the balances as humans to have that yeah well-roundedness and I feel like  women do that so well when you know they create a circle and you see as an outsider you know the  things that the participating in and I'm thinking how tough would it be to get a group of men to let  go do an ecstatic dance could I see that happening I'm not sure I'm sure it would but to get like my  boys doing that I feel like it would like take half a lifetime yeah and there's so much work to  do and I'm not even at that point it would take me a lot I think to be in a room of strangers  and fully let go and not care about what people think we've got a lifetime of stuff to undo yeah  that's what we've got to remember not to be hard on ourselves we're undoing as we're learning but  if you break it down like being in the room and just dancing like that's not that's not a  difficult thing to do is it like I mean physically but mentally that's like no way I can't do that  everybody can do it's like meditating it's the most simple thing to do in the world just sit  there and and shut up and close your eyes yes I'm sure how do you meditate sit there [ __ ] exactly  sit there shut up close your eyes focus on your breath and wake there that's the next episode it's  gonna be like 10 seconds long how to meditate sit there and shut up so you know steps no but  you know I mean it's like these simple things are like there's so much resistance within us  to do is that complicates it yeah exactly and uh yeah I just want to try and make my life as  simple as possible yeah but trust in the process and it never actually had any role models growing  up as well that's something that's allowed me to trust the process sorry I'm diverting a bit but I  was just thinking then like you had your your mom and your family and I didn't really have anyone to  look up to yeah I had role models in the sense I don't want to end up like that so that's in kind  of in a role model in a way yeah yeah it's just a perception of negative and positive it is like  make sure you don't go that way yeah don't make this those mistakes so yeah and but I use social  media and podcasts and these kind of mediums to find my role models and to learn from from people  and that's something honestly I couldn't you know when I've been in really tough places I'll do one  or two things I'll have a stick of comedy on and laugh yeah and just let the laughter be and you  know it's those odd sorry those old sayings you know laughter is the best medicine it really is  like I would even be on my own I just watch Comedy and just laugh laugh or I'll go in and I'll watch  something that's going to feed me and nourish me and finding those people in your life that  have spent time or a lifetime you know researching mushrooms or the people of Joe Rogan will have in  his podcast or someone like Russell Brand or Muji Muji really opened up my mindset and changed me I  used to spend hours every day just watching that guy and listening to him yeah to the point I was  gonna go to India and like try and get on one of his songs because I was like I need to be in front  of that guy I relate to him because he's like a Jamaican that moved to Britain that moved to India  that became a guru and it's like culturally I just relate to him so much from how he sounds and  he's been here so he understands our culture British culture but he's Jamaican and he just he's  such a well-rounded cultured person that he shaped my mind completely and the fact we live in a day  and age where we can do that just put something on and listen yeah it's so powerful yeah and you  just people just need to find what's right for them and and Trust the process yeah yeah exactly  I like to think like a podcast or listening to a podcast it's like you're having dinner with that  person or lunch and imagine sitting there having lunch and listening to this person like share all  of this knowledge with you it's like wow so yeah it's like you're having a meeting with with Joe  Rogan with Jordan Peterson you can meet all of these different people like that's some amazing  like powerful source of information that we can like use and alchemize and how many people are  listening to that and mindset's changing at the same time that's that's the powerful thing about  this yeah yeah the thing that's like been strange for me like when I started this I think the first  podcast had like 50 downloads and I'm like that's not a massive number I'm like imagine 50 people  standing in your living room yeah listen to your talk for like an hour and a half that's a trip  yeah so it's the power the power of this like medium where we got big platform small platform  you are Rippling out and just being consistent and that goes for anything just be consistent in  in your journey and trust that process and and let that Ripple out to other people yeah and I  know this is a big question and sometimes we can't answer these but what does like the next step of  your transition look like what is it you're going to be trying to move in what do you think is the  next thing that you're gonna have to trust the processing ah thank you for asking that because  I've been thinking about this over the last couple of days actually when I now I think because of who  I am who I've accepted that I am um on this journey of life it when I talk about work I  don't necessarily always mean like the job that I'm doing I mean about what I'm actually working  through within myself within my insecurities within my barriers like that's what the work is to  me yeah that's what's going to change my DNA and if I ever have kids that's what they're gonna come  from that is such a powerful thing that I could spend 10 hours talking to people need to realize  it or or maybe should look into not need to is when we're changing we're changing our DNA and  you're changing your future children if you don't already have children yeah and that's something  I'm super aware of you know those habits those Cycles yeah if you can break them now you are  doing a service to the Future versions of you yeah because well not you that you know the break off  from you yeah those little humans you're setting them up for a better existence yeah I am so aware  of that you know it's like it's a big drive for me so I'm like my work is working on integrating my  how do I say this my dark side my shadow side because there's a thing that there's a stigma  as well with spirituality and with like positivity with spirituality you have to be positive all the  time and that everything should be love and light and yeah I realize in Ibiza one of the  Shadow sides of that is that there's so much bypassing that goes on with that so much of  your like pain suffering time boundaries getting crossed like so much of it gets swept under the  carpet and the mask with oh it's fine I'm fine fine because you're worried about how  you're going to be perceived if you're not always happy and so true you know and so it's like having  this strength of of my own character of knowing like no I can be pissed off with this situation  with myself or with then show that to myself and I can honor that within myself without hurting  anyone else I'm not going to tell myself that's fine because it's not and I've realized like in  the last six months that I cannot ignore that side of me anymore I think I sort of put on I  develop to people pleasing mentality that's part of who I am I'm a nice person anyway I'm a kind  person but there were certain times where I would say no to myself and yes to the world and now I'm  just like becoming very [Music] um disciplined with that with like is this right for me am I  am I making this decision from a place from a good place within myself am I afraid to say no to this  situation because of what that person might feel or think so it's really like integrating what I  what I call is the darkness but it's just part of life you know it's dark now it's going to be  light tomorrow it's like it's part of everything that we're trying to say it's daytime all the  time that's where the Warriors are yeah exactly something I've been really aware of like when I  I'm around certain people I'm like oh I can tell they're a certain way we're gonna have  things in common if if people only talk about the light it's always been an indicator to me that oh  this is maybe where you're at in a journey because for me the darkness is where the growth happens no  you said about mushrooms coming up this time of year yeah it's for a reason that they're in in  the darkness yeah but they've had to grow for them to pop up yeah they've done all the growing in the  darkness yeah and when people don't talk about that depth and those dark times and it is all  love and light for me I kind of just take a step back from that because I'm like it's not where I  need to be when I hear people talk about no Shadow side Shadow Self and you know exploring that how  to integrate that rather than deny it and think it doesn't exist yeah that's really damaging yeah  of course it is come back up at some point yeah because it's always there it's just whether you're  willing to accept it or not and look at it you know it's always there that's what I've realized  it's like oh are these things just coming up now no they're not they've always been there I've  always been just as light as I am dark I've always had a lightness and a shadow side it's just that  now I'm brave enough to look there and to to bring it in in a way that's not hurting anybody you know  yeah just to be more of a whole and complete and authentic human being you know and to realize  nobody's always one way yeah we've got diff we've got polarity we've got different sides of  ourselves so that's where I'm at in my spiritual journey and I'm finding the balance because while  I'm working through this I've noticed that some days I can be like a little bit more  [ __ ] than usual I'm just like I'm working it out you know what I mean I'm like okay there's  a boundary but then I don't want to go too much the other side so I'm in this space now where  I'm like rediscovering what my boundaries are and rediscovering what my tone is going to be  going forward because it's quite a radical shift going from people pleaser to like clear honest  integral person who says what they mean and means what they say because it's true for them in that  moment it's quite a big shift it's a big layer to pull back so I'm working on that internally  and externally I think I'm gonna move to London actually yeah I feel like I want to be around  more things like this going on on a daily basis so yeah I just feel like I want to move there  it's like trusting the process again I'm having like I've had it on my vision board and on my  goals list for 10 years so I'm 30 soon so I feel like it's a good time to to move that yeah yeah  I feel like that won't be your last stop as well I feel like you're just somebody who's gonna explore  yeah multiple things and I'd say keep sharing and documenting because it ripples out to people yeah  in ways you probably won't even realize yeah not everyone will message you and say no thanks for  that yeah people really are consuming it and I know what podcast I'm going to get loads of  information from you Michael Dawson start that Journey but I wish you well in the next bit this  is obviously it's not like I'm saying goodbye for the listeners yeah sure we're going to connect  again and hopefully you'll be back on again yeah I want to keep you know the same people with the  same knowledge and further knowledge coming back and revisiting and get listeners used to people  people who I value from what they put out into the world yeah and has really moved together and  start creating something special and see what we can do yeah completely whether you're in London  or here we'll make another podcast happen at some point but I knew this is going to be great  yeah is that an hour and then you would go over I know we could probably go for about four months  so we'll change it into a part two and we'll have you back on another on another chat yeah  um where can people follow you if they want and you know see your journey that you're on well  this has just inspiring me to put more things on Instagram now so yeah just follow my Instagram  it's expressions of Jamie Luke I've changed my handle recently because I want to make it more  about expressing myself through poetry through videos as opposed to a wellness Journey so yeah  just follow me on Instagram and also I just want to say thank you to you as well because like  you're inspiring me just being here and I'm like observing how you can be going through something  in your life and alchemizing it and turning it into something positive like and that's  just that's the magic of life like something that's dark alchemizing and becoming something  beautiful that's going to help people so thank you I appreciate it it's been a trip because I  started this off what I've gone through and I'm not sure this with the listeners but at  the moment you know I had a really bad back not being able to walk properly and this started from  right I need to get people to come to me to start this podcast yeah because I can't go  anywhere yeah I can't move the equipment I don't really want to shoot it from where I  live but if I'm gonna start this thing and start the journey and Trust the process get it moving I  need to invite these people to me whilst I can't physically go to them yeah and it is starting  something amazing so I'm I'm realizing that if you can do stuff while going through the worst  time imagine what you can do when everything's exactly flying and it is dying polarity like  you're always going to go through one thing or the other but if you can make things happen in  the darkness the tough times jeez imagine yeah it seem like the light's gonna look like so it isn't  sharing connecting with people like yourself and you know you're taking time to come here  I'm just super grateful and these chats will definitely resonate with other people as our  listeners grow we've already got listeners that are tapping in and tapping in again so  as they get to know me they get to know other people surrounding me and then yeah we'll just  grow this thing together yeah like a mushroom to be continuous so thanks a lot for listening guys  um I know people like to listen to this in parts so thank you if you stuck to the end if you want  to support the podcast it's not about money but it does take a lot of time and effort and  dedication to do this if you want to show us some support that way you can do and thanks  a lot for listening thanks a lot to Jamie Lou we'll see you again remember no matter  what you go through life is good life is sound we'll see you on the next one and stay blessed